Yes it is true – it truly is better to give than to receive!
And in my wisdom and grace I offer to you the perfect opportunity to do just that!
You may give to ME for your own personal joy, for the purpose of atonement, to validate your abundance, because it amuses you; you may give to ME for any reason at all with zero expectation of getting anything in return other than the deep satisfaction of having given freely of yourself!
Plus, you will make Pearl happy !
As you find yourselves inclined, nay, compelled, to begin amassing gifts and money for your dear Pearlie Mae, please feel free to click the button and GIVE GIVE GIVE!
Please know that your contribution will make a major difference in how much Pearl loves you.
No donation is tax deductible.
Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice. Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.
I have just sent you $50 and I feel wonderful.
It’s one of those things you have to do before you can understand.
Thank you so much. This is amazing!~
That’s how it works. And it only gets better.
Thank you for your testimony.
Pearl of Opportunity
I wanted to feel the wonderfulness of which Sharana speaks. YES! Now I understand! Warm rush of satisfaction in knowing I am helping to keep the luminous and illuminated Pearl supplied with heavenly nuts. Also, I plan to have plenty of problems for Pearl to comment upon, so this is my down payment. Congratulations, Pearl, on your beautiful emerald website. Love it!
Dear Enlightened Carol,
Pearl loves you best, currently.
Bless you and keep the flow open.
Sacred psychic Pearl is here to receive you and your offerings.
Ommmm ditty ditty Ommmmm
Pearl the Pleased
lets just say that i wanted to give a squirrel a massage, would i tape them to a blanket with there face covered and tap them until they are happy i need to know this information! yours truly, ruler of squirrels
Everything is predicated on the ability to catch one.
I hit a squirrel with my car the other day. Do you still love me?
Yes. I will love you even more if you make a nice big atonement donation to ME.
Pearl of Let’s Get Real, here
That’s an excellent idea! 🙂 How much would be an acceptable atonement donation? (I don’t even like to think of that way, it’s more like giving from the heart).
You know, Pog.
You know the exact amount it would take to clear up that little shadow on your heart.
That’s it right there.
Donate that amount. And breath easy, dear Pog.
Pearl believes in you. Pearl loves you.
So tell me Pearl. How much would i have to pay to make your beautiful face fall in love with me Fish. Any amount would be worth paying to see you smile in earnest. You have a smile so warm and bright it could light up a township.
It pains my furry little face to think that you may have confused ME, the unsmiling squirrel, with the dorky human or the dumb dumb possum. I, I, I am the brains and beauty behind this operation but have become woefully obscured by these videos of questionable judgment.
We do not actually sell anything, here at ME Pearl. That would be vulgar. We encourage huge donations with no expectation of anything in return except the incomparable rush that accompanies this action. The only way to understand is to do it. So, to be clear, ME, Pearl, am the squirrel, and I already love you. But, yes, a donation would make ME love you more.
Pearl de Wisdom, squirrel de your heart
You are wonderful and so strange.
I’ll bet you are. too, Bruno.
Thank you for writing in.
you are probably getting swamped with new fans today!!! i LOVE you!!! i have a POSSUM MINISTRY. i am a rehabber in new york and i only take in squirrels and possums. my last oppossum lived almost 6 years:) she was out in the summer and i kept her inside in the winter.
Yes, yes, today and every day. Pearl loves you, too, Kristi. A POSSUM MINISTRY? Well, isn’t that special. Squirrels, too?
Of course Pearl loves all creatures equally but prefers squirrels. Keep up the good work, friend. My east coast unfortunates need a big warm heart like yours.
Pearl the Appreciative
Dear Pearl, I once fed a squirrel regularly, a handful of sunflower seeds every day. He would yell at me if I didn’t feed him on time. Do you yell? HMVincent
Well, yes I do, HMVincent. I yell quite a bit, mostly at pussy cats but there was a sea gull once who really got my dander up. I was sore afraid until I noticed it had webbed feet. Webbed feet are funny.
I am disabled and can’t get a job. What do You think I should do?
Good Day, Butch~
You are talking to a three legged squirrel, here. Plus, I’m dead. Talk about a disability. And yet, I run an empire.
Don’t misunderstand, I love complaining and blaming and making excuses and passing the buck. It’s a real art form that I’ve mastered. But you can’t argue with success. Eye on the prize, my boy.
Take a look at our friend Nick, here.
In certain sectors having a disability is a big advantage in getting hired. Or maybe you’d be happier in business for yourself, like ME.
Pearl de Wisdom believes in happiness, Butch. I believe in YOUR happiness. Join ME.
Pearl of Possibilities
I just stumble across your site after losing my pet squirrel. Therefore I just sent my one and only possum to deliver to you 1mm dollars in opossum dollars. Enjoy.
First off, Duster, ‘pet squirrel’ is an oxymoron. A squirrel my have a pet person when it suits. And it would be devastating for a person to lose a squirrel. Sorry. As for possums, send them anywhere you want but they won’t go. Thanks for the million dollar thought. Next time send a pigeon.
Pearl the Unpunked
I love you and your work. Makes me wonder about my life’s work.
Thank you, Dusty.
Do you wish to talk about your life possibilities or simply to share you state of wonderment?
Pearl the Poised (on the verge of Everything)
Hi Pearl, I am a kitten who has grown opposable thumbs just to watch your videos. Keep up the good work!
Good Kitty, Isis!
And I see you use a keyboard, too. Smart!
Once you can open your own food the world is your oyster, so to speak.
You can also use your opposeable thumbs to lock your doors from the inside. Just sayin’.
BTW, I know your namesake AND her cat lady friends (you know, Bast and Sekhmet). It’s not always easy being a squirrel in
a feline friendly environment, believe you ME.
On earth I had three legs. I know what it is to labeled a freak.
Couragio petite chat~
Pearl loves you.
Sweet Pearl . . . I have a question and some challenging criticism. Question: How can one not fall into the bottomless pit of everlasting depresseion upon realizing that the most enlightened being they ever encountered is a dead, 3-legged squirrel?
Constructive criticism: Never use the words ‘possum’ and ‘lubrication’ in the same sentence.
Sorry for being so difficult, but that’s my nature.
Hey D but S T,
The most important information for you today;
There is no such thing as a bottomless pit of everlasting depression. So turn that frown upside down and get serious about
spaghetti, cupcakes ping pong and a puppy (of any age).
Also, consider the torus. Let those who have tufted little ears, hear.
Pearl of Positive Plentitude
Sweet Pearl of Generous Positive Plentitude,
Having heard with non-tufted, big ears (long story), I proceeded with faith. At first, when I tried the torus, I wound up just going around in circles within circles, getting nowhere but dizzy . . . and nauseous from the spaghetti and cupcakes that preceded. But then . . ., after a bit of ping pong, the light shone. Your deceased status from your previous, handicaped, rodent-resemblant form is IRRELEVANT! You speak, I hear. Nothing else matters! Now one day I can get a puppy and be happy ever after. Nothing is everlasting, but the happy ever after (and . . . er, I guess everything else that lasts).
My propriety concerns regarding your awkward human’s occassional choice of word juxtapostions remain unresolved, however, but of slight importance from my replenished perspective.
Courage à vous comme bien mon ami! Yes, all cats now speak French.
I am beginning the escape plan and the humans are so far fooled.
Thank you for the wondermous advice!
Whoa there Nellie!
Vous et une nutso petit chat.
The seat of wisdom lies in knowing when you possess the throne.
You reign there, kitty, Stay put and purr.
Your Pal Pearl, Goddess of the Galaxy
Here is a poem for you. Have been rehabbing opossums for 8 years…they are WONDERFUL animals.
Little eyes, big ears, quiet as the night.
Babies riding on my back, holding on tight.
Eating slug, eating snail, looking for some grapes.
Protecting babies with Growls and scary gapes.
Watching the babies grow so big, learning how to hunt.
Playing while they still so young, even Joey the runt.
Now their grown and on their way.
At last a peaceful sleep, during the day.
I have a question about a possum that got hit by a car that I saved can you please email me
Your best bet is to contact the National Opossum Society at http://www.opossum.org or
The Opossum Society of the United States at http://www.opossumsocietyus.org.
These organizations have experts on call and can give better advice than a website designed primarily for entertainment. Good Luck.
I guess you do not need acorns now when you are dead. Or am I wrong about what squirrels do eat?
Are you offering a tribute of acorns, Therapsid? That would be fitting.
P of the enormous private stock of everything~
Seen this yet? They even put the elephant in near the end of their little jest, sort of.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_w7hVSWEZc
Yes. Quite love it.
How may we worship your glorious fuzzy feet? We would like to initiate ourselves into the light cast by your glowing, nutty aura.
Do you love us?
Grovel, darlings, grovel.
Of course, Pearl loves you. Consider yourselves initiated into the light as of February 2, a good time for initiations.
Pearl, Presiding Priestess of The Temple of Pearl
Is there any way to still order tshirts? The viralprint site no longer works 🙁
Even though Pearl is perfect, her minions are not and that Georgette~ don’t get me started.
Seems our merchandising outlet collapsed and we are busily scurrying about manifesting another.
You should be able to wear ME (and drink from ME and write with ME) before this season’s babies are out of the nest.
No fair shaking the trees!
Pearl, setting all things right, one solar system at a time
Love, love, love your videos—very creative. Would you be interested in doing an interview on a radio web show sometime? The show is called “Creative Energy in You”.
Quite possibly. Please tell me more on the Channel message of MEpearlA, Youtube.
Thank you. But be warned. With ME Pearl you never know what you are getting into.
I stumbled upon your site, and I’m soo impressed by your talent and subtle wit. There obviously must be some professional actress training in your background. Were you ever in movies or, at least, acted on stage? If not, what a waste because you are a hidden gem!
Dear great Peal!
I love all you have done! What is the best way I can communicate in a deeper spiritual level with my rats?
Wonderful question, Ellen~
Relax and allow the rats to teach you, themselves. They already know how to communicate on a deep spiritual level.
You are three quarters there just by asking the question.
Pearl Loves You
I just found this baby possum in my yard and we named it Noodle. You have an amazing site! I felt bad for giving the little baby a dish of food but after looking at your site…. I feel like I definitely did the right thing.
I am writing to you from Switzerland. Do not confuse with Sweden, thank you! We don’t have Possums here. We have plenty Mountain Goats and Jack Russels. But nothing like massageable Possums.
My question is: could you please ship one of those to my country before this Christmas? Or, even better, a couple? Be certain that my donation will be unforgetable. We, Swiss, are good at that!
I look forward to being part of this new dimension you are offering us so generously.
…and what a fine Swiss name that is. Introducing a non-native species has consequences you cannot even imagine. Cute in the immediate and disastrous in the long run. If I did that BOTH of our donations would be unforgettable.
Mountain Goats and Jack Russels would delight anyone with a sense of humor. We envy you.
Pearl P.S. How ya fixed for squirrels?
We are the loving Family of a beautiful lady possum named Cupcake. Our family is supposed to travel to Thailand this Summer, but we don’t have someone we trust to take care of our baby.
Thank you for any help or advice,
Lincoln, Woonsen, Max, Music, Cupcake!
Postpone your trip for a year and a half and the problem will resolve itself. Otherwise Cupcake may have to suck it up and stay in a cage for awhile.
Offer a sizeable donation to a local wildlife center and see if they have a trained volunteer willing to do home care. That’s all I got. Or. baste Cupcake into a large faux fur coat collar and wear her through airport security. Then duck into the restroom and transfer her into a ventilated carry-on filled with treats.
Once in Thailand you’re on your own. Good Luck. Oh, and don’t use my name.
Your Pal, Prudence
I was wondering if you would consider coming out with stickers in your zazzle store? I would LOVE to buy them and put them everywhere 🙂
Lol do u want a nut or somethin
Sure. What ‘or somethin’ did you have in mind? I probably want that too.
Thanks, Poo Butt.
Pearl of limitless possibilities~
Dear all knowing pearl,
I’ve been having visions for weeks. In these visions a different famous possum visits me every night. It chants, “possum. Possum. Possum.” Over and over. I wake up with a terrible feeling of negative energy all around me and I wonder if maybe my destiny is to become a possum owner. Some night I also wonder if maybe my house was built on a possum burial ground. I can feel the presence of the deceased around me. What should I do? Follow my vision or my fear?
First, you are laboring under an erroneous assumption if you believe that anyone can own a possum. It’s true that you can enslave/incarcerate them but possums are wild animals born free and no one can or should try to own their being. Grasp this and you’ll see that the rest is superfluous.
Thank you for writing in and revealing a truth that must be understood by a dominator society.
Pearl loves you.
You have single handedly made me fall in love with oppossums. While I don’t have money I do have a piece of fanart I would love to share! How would one be able to send you a jpg?
-Sincerly Meem the oppossum
Sounds wonderful. No provisions yet for such things but stayed tuned and thank you.
Dear all knowing pearl,
what should I go to college for? I assume that since you know everything you might be able to give me an answer. <3
Go to college when it offers you something you want, even if it’s only buying time until you know what you want. Many college campuses are squirrel friendly environments and that, alone, may be worth the price of admission. If you go that route stick to walnuts and fresh produce for both you and the squirrels.
You’re welcome. P
Hello! I adore your videos and merchandise. I have would absolutely love to have a embroidered patch with your Zazzle Art featuring your opossum face and “a sober opossum is a social asset”. Seeing that you do not have a patch, may I make one/have one made? I can pay you $10 for use of the design. This is for a single patch, personal use, and not for profit.
By all means. Use the $10 to buy a bag of shelled walnuts. Crack them and share them judiciously (that means with squirrels).
Your Pal Pearl
To Pearl, the True Squirrel of Wisdom,
If I have understood this website’s format, then I have properly linked to you an Aria for ‘Bite-y’. I hope that it finds favor with you.
Did you receive the email from ME Pearl with suggestions on how to celebrate your oeuvre?
We are waiting for your reply.
Your Pal Pearl