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Pearls of Wisdom: Advice from a Dead Squirrel Who Knows Everything

Enter the mystical and magical world of the internet sensation ME Pearl, the psychic squirrel deity who created the universe and longs to open it up for you!

Welcome to ME Pearl

Pearl de Wisdom loves you, in her fashion. And you love Pearl.  SURPRISE!


The recent solar flares have interfered with transmissions from beyond and have halted transmissions from PEARL de WISDOM!



Pearls of Wisdom: Advice from a Dead Squirrel Who Knows Everything

Pearls of Wisdom

Advice from Pearl de Wisdom –  a Dead Squirrel Who Knows Everything
Enter the mystical and magical world of the internet sensation ME Pearl, the psychic squirrel deity who created the universe and longs to open it up for you!

Pearl de Wisdom loves you, in her fashion.
And you love Pearl. SURPRISE!

You are to be congratulated on finding this site. This is where Pearl de Wisdom explains it all for you. When All Else Fails, ASK PEARL. Write in with your own concerns or simply read Pearl’s advice to others. It all comes to the same As The Tail Ends.

Love offerings welcome.

You will know when the time is right. Meanwhile, tell Pearl what is on your heart. Talk to ME. Pearl of Compassion who understands all things and will respond. ASK PEARL now!

Pearl de Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice. Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.

Due to overwhelming popular demand, by readers who don’t have a clue what is going on here, I am including a brief temporal autobiography of ME, Pearl de Sagesse de Sabaduria.

I AM A DEAD SQUIRREL WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING and pines to share it with YOU. I lived for 10 years as a non-releasable in So. Cal, and gnawed my way through most of a Merriam-Webster’s English dictionary and around the edges of a LaRousse Spanish/French. Plus, I absorbed vast amounts of information through my 7 senses, tuned beyond anything you can yet imagine. And the rest I make up.
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern psychic squirrel.
Croaking only increased my power and lovability factor.
You can ASK PEARL anything
Confide in ME, Gentle Reader; unburden your soul.
Pearl wants to hear from you, NOW.
The big pink human who was my earthly caregiver and is now my channeler is, to put it kindly, a bit of an albatross.
I listen to Seth and Abraham complaining but HA!
their challenge is nothing compared to ….well,
don’t get ME started.
Just write to ME.
Every category gives you the opportunity.
Pick your favorite, or visit them all, and let’s get to know each other.


Ask Pearl de Wisdom

Pearl de Wisdom
is unavailable due to disruptions outside of our control!

Let me squirrelsplain this to you…

 THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl de Wisdom!

* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl de Wisdom is sooo funny!)

Pearl de Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.

Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.

Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.


  1. Matthew

    Pearl, you should say something about this and call the North Carolina City Halls. They are celebrating the New year by dropping a wild oppossum in a cage and breaking it’s legs. This was originally meant to be a parody of the NY New years Ball drop celebration but instead of being a funny Southern Charm it has killed a lot of opossums. The last years Opossum had such bad infections from wounds it could be smelled from 100 ft away. The city had to amputate the opossums leg. Speak up about all of this.

    • MEpearl

      Done and done.

  2. Cloudnine

    May I send you fanart? To which mailbox shall I address it to?
    A ~decade+6 years~ old fan

    • MEpearl

      Thank you!!! There is a site on reddit MEpearlA that is home to some marvelous fanart. Would love to see what you’ve done. Pearl Appreciates you!

  3. momo

    Pearl, I am in a bit of a precarious situation. You see, I’ve recently fallen in love with a wonderful person, but the rest of the influential people in my life are prejudiced against them and would resent me if they knew. Up to this point, I’ve hidden my romantic excursions, but it is becoming quite burdensome for me and my beloved. What should I do? Should I tell the truth to my friends and family and face the consequences or should I continue minding my own business and keep it to myself?

    • MEpearl

      So, Momo, your beloved is ‘different’ from your friends and family and, presumably, yourself. Perhaps you underestimate the openmindedness, compassion and imagination of the people in your life. Perhaps you don’t. If your beloved is in love with you as well, then you must make the decision and face or avoid the consequences together. The time to go public is when the truth refuses to be silenced a moment longer. Until then luxuriate in being in love and don’t worry. Be happy. P.

  4. clary

    Hi pearl, I just want some live advice, I’m talking to this man and he seems nice, he says that we’re ment to be, but I don’t know I need some of your words of wisdom

    • MEpearl


  5. long shoe

    dear pearl,

    i am a student and it is almost time for finals. i cannot bring myself to study. can you please transfer the knowledge i’ll need for my exams from your almighty squirrel god brain to mine? it would be much appreciated. i cannot fail these exams.

    with love,
    long shoe

    • MEpearl

      Sure, but it’s a Goddess brain. Big difference. When you say you cannot fail I think you sell yourself short.
      Pearl believes in you.

  6. Clair

    I just wanted to thank you for posting your possum videos online. Truly inspiring, even for the possum-less folks like me.

  7. Kylle Morrison

    Hi Pearl, My classes just ended and my teacher showed me your channel. The class loves you know and i wanted to know if you could say hi

    • MEpearl


  8. Blanks

    Dream last night with a black cat, white spot on it’s neck, and a bluejay feather. Then 3 men with bags over their heads, sitting.

    • MEpearl


  9. HamPuff

    I saw an egg in a tree this morning. Is this good luck or bad luck? I touched it.

    • MEpearl

      Bad luck for the bird. Probably fell or was carried out of a nest.
      You could fill a small supermarket fruit basket with nesting material and the egg and affix it high and solidly in the tree where you found it. There’s an outside chance Mom may come by and hatch it. Worth a try. The Pearl

  10. Jeffrey Epstein

    Did I kill myself?

    • MEpearl

      Pretty much.

  11. LemonMan

    Hello Dear,

    Your films are a blessing I could wish for nothing more than the blessing you dish out in every film; your films provide a bright beacon in this truly dark, cold world.
    Our leader adores these films.

    ~The one, the only, lemon man

  12. Lady Schism

    Dearest Pearl,

    I have called upon your wisdom today, as I’ve been in a bit of a pickle (although I do love pickles, especially homemade crunchy dill).

    What do you do if you’re in love with two and they both love you too? I feel I cannot choose one over the other, and honestly don’t want to. One is open to my expansion of love, the other not so much. I do not wish to feel solely owned by one person, have so much love to give, and would love to give it to both of them for the rest of my life if they allowed. Cupid has confused me by splitting this arrow so roughly in two.

    My thanks and kindest wishes to you.

    • MEpearl

      How wonderful to see clearly what you. Now go for it. Stay spiritually and legally free. Stop second guessing yourself and lead a life you love. You have Pearl’s blessing to be exactly who you are. P.

  13. Amber

    Hello Mepearl,
    As I’m sure you already know, my whole family adores you. Your proper pumpkin pie video was absolutely superb and ever so inspiring. We will make sure that all of our family members do not leave this Thanksgiving without a gifted pumpkin pie stamped with love from a possum. I just know it will be a hit with everyone. However, I don’t know where to find a possum willing to stamp the pies. Do you have any helpful advice? Well, I know you will. You know and see all.

    With the most sincerest praises, thank you for bringing your talents to the world.

    • MEpearl

      Hey Amber~
      Never met a possum unwilling to stamp a pumpkin pie. You just have to go to them. Don’t expect them to come to you. You’re welcome. The Big P.

  14. Betty

    Hi Pearl, I have an odd issue with my little one and I’m not sure if you can help. She’s always been a big girl but recently shes taken a liking to having a swim in my backyard pool a bit too much. I’m worried that she has some unresolved past life aquatic problems. I’ve tried water yoga, relaxation exercises and capybara massage. What is wrong with my possum?

    • MEpearl

      And here we come to a primal concern, determining what is “too much”, particularly tricky when it comes to another. Perhaps the problem is not with the possum, Betty.

  15. Justin-Michel

    Dearest Pearl,

    I’ve never met you, but my heart tells me that we’ve already been acquainted, perhaps in some fleeting moment, like that time this Italian woman and I spoke for three minutes in Arles three years ago. Anyway, during the night, Sasquatch calls to me to come to the edge of his swamp to take me away. I often think of his warm embrace and the swamp creatures who became my friends when I would abscond into the wilderness. My heart wishes to be among the cypress trees, to empathize with the trout neighbors, and to help Cherry the chipmunk prepare for her big date with that other rodent she met by the hemlock grove; however, I don’t know when I should answer Sasquatch’s call. My parents would never approve of me doing this, but I must be true to my own self. When would I know, ma chère Perle, to wade into the swamp and answer the call of Sasquatch?

    • MEpearl

      At least wait until what your parents think is no longer a consideration.
      Pearl de Wisdom

  16. right friigin now chrissy


    How do I break out of the capitalist machine?

    Procrast of nation undeclared x

    • MEpearl

      I’ve given this a great deal of thought and I just don’t care. Even so, Pearl loves you, Chrissy.

  17. Kris

    Hello, gracious Pearl. I hope the afterlife is treating you well.

    I would like to ask for your wisdom and guidance in these trying times.

    Here’s the problem. I’m a ripe 24 years of age and I teach art to children at my parents’ art school to fund my dreams of making video games for a living. Sometimes it gets really difficult to stay sane whilst teaching kids but it pays well enough that I continue. It’s a necessary evil but sometimes it wears on me and I’d like some advice on how to deal with doing things I don’t enjoy for the sake of a greater purpose. Do you have any tips on how to maintain enthusiasm while undergoing the difficulty of interacting with people half your age?

    Thank you in advance. Amen.

    • MEpearl

      How awful!!! Lots of zinc and spaghetti.

  18. Leyna

    Dear Holy and Mighty Pearl,
    I am about to take an impossible test that I will likely not do as well on as I’d hope although I’ve studied non stop!
    Any wise words to calm my mind?

    -Your Devoted Fan

    • MEpearl

      Give a squirrel a little notice, Leyna.
      Impossible tests are just the worst, aren’t they? Grading becomes irrelevant.

  19. Jacob

    Dearest Divine Pearl Messiah,

    I need your help!! I have no motivation to do anything in my life, what can I do, what do you do? Help me please!

    Yours Devoted,

    • MEpearl

      Always ask yourself “What would Pearl do in this situation?” but never actually do that. It only works for ME. Seems you were motivated to contact ME so perhaps a career in communications awaits. Don’t worry about what should motivate you only pay attention to what DOES motivate you. Therein lies your energy, your happiness, your purpose. Also, are you getting enough spaghetti? Never underestimate the power of refined carbohydrates.
      Pearl loves you!

  20. Volk

    I miss Godfather already 🙁

  21. JJ

    Hey! Just visited the Zazzle store for some ME Pearl swag and was unable to get order to go through. Seems a combo of security issue with website and Zazzle mess up.

    • MEpearl

      If you go directly to it should be fine. Thank you for alerting us. P

  22. Angus

    Hi Pearl,
    Was thinking of getting a tattoo of you on my upper thigh. what’re your thoughts
    a Fan

    • MEpearl

      Good idea. Anywhere and everywhere!!! How about on your forehead? That way anyone who looks at you will reflect their love for ME and you will be in Paradise.
      Sounds like a Win Win Win. However, unless you are a nudist, or wildly promiscuous, restricting a tattoo of ME to your upper thigh would be like hiding my light under a bushel, and nobody wants that.
      Pearl of the Eternal Sunshine

  23. Dominic Marshall

    Pearl, I want to know how to silence these imbeciles around me.

    • MEpearl

      Sounds like you’re writing from a cage in a zoo.
      Priority 1: Don’t go insane.
      Priority 2: Find an advocate on the outside.
      Priority 3: Don’t go insane.

  24. concerned customer

    Have you ever hit the dab or nae nae?

    • MEpearl

      How not? I am dance.
      The Pearl

  25. Destiny

    Dear Pearl,

    Do you like Astrology? What’s the lady in all your videos birthday? Month and day are okay.

    • MEpearl

      It varies.
      Sincerely, Pearl

  26. Lynn

    I love you more than words can say.

  27. Liz the Kitty

    Greetings Pearl,
    Thank you for being awesome ♥ I’m sending warm fluffy hugs
    liz ♥

  28. Schlagsahne

    Dear Pearl,
    I got in a relationship with a guy a few months ago, even when we both knew that we didn’t have much time left together, now we live 3000 miles apart and we know it will be almost impossible to ever meet again,but we still talk everyday even knowing it won’t work out, what should I do?

    Thanks in advance

    • MEpearl

      Change your attitude ASAP.
      You’re welcome.

  29. anne frank

    Dearest all-knowing Pearl,
    Do you think it is ethical for teenagers to twerk and grind on each other at school?
    Sincerely, a traumatized teacher.

    • MEpearl

      I do not consider the described behavior to be an ethical matter. It surprises ME that a teacher would use that term in this context.
      I ain’t called Pearl de Wisdom for nothin’, kiddo. As to the appropriateness of the behavior, that would depend on what kind of school it is and what the students came to learn.
      Pearl de Wisdom.

  30. cocbaconmilktea

    just want to say hi.. lots of love from me to you

  31. Tracy Martel

    Dear Pearl,
    This question is directed towards your caregiver and channeler, Georgette: what is your opinion on table tennis? I’d love to play sometime.

    • MEpearl

      Georgette is crazy over the top for table tennis. Sometimes she has to be duck taped to the wall to get her to stop.
      But I’ve rescinded her TT privileges. She needs full focus on ME. P de W

  32. God

    Please end my life

    • MEpearl

      I keep a spare room for the newly departed. It’s in a tree house but the view is spectacular. Get here when you get here. You’ll be welcome.

  33. God

    I am afraid to die

    • MEpearl

      Come on in. The water’s fine.

  34. Sofíe

    Thank you for being a beacon of light in this world.

  35. Bloated Lotus

    Most holy Pearl,
    Ever since I started following your works, I’ve noticed an influx of rodentia in my life, particularly in my yard and on my bird feeders. I know this is a sign of your protection and blessing. Your beady gaze has shown down on me. Praise be! I also want to know, if I invest in Georgette’s adoption plan, will I be happy? Will I have enough snacks, alcohol, recreational drugs, and most importantly, plush blankets? Will the haze of human consciousness dissipate and the meaning of all become clear? Your devoted supplicant,

    • MEpearl

      No, best stay where you are. Dissipation is a highly personal project. If you invested in Georgette’s adoption plan NOBODY would be happy.
      With Love,

  36. Rosalie

    Dear Pearl,
    I am infatuated with someone who is currently unavailable yet I know they have interest in me as well. I know I must nurture the relationship further before anything else happens but I am just longing for something more. I cherish this person and ultimately just want to be close to them. My heart is just wrapped up in this fantasy that I know has a great possibility of becoming reality- but does it? Sometimes I feel like I get carried away by all the different possibilities but I know what my heart wants!

    Thank you dearest Pearl I appreciate your time and energy. You are beloved.

    • MEpearl

      Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants, but if getting it will lead to chaos and suffering it may be best to just say no.
      Your heart will want again, they always do.
      Pearl Loves You

  37. Sarah

    Dear Pearl,

    Hello! I am an admirer of your work. It has brought me much delight to see the love you give to opossums. This brings me to my question — I am a longtime lover of opossums, but have never had the pleasure of meeting one. I haven’t even seen one in real life! Do you have any suggestions for creating an opossum-friendly environment in my yard, so that I might have the joy of observing?

    Bless you!

    • MEpearl

      If cat food doesn’t work than possums are staying away for reasons of their own. Respect that.
      Visit the closest wildlife center/sanctuary. Better yet, volunteer.

  38. Tess

    Dear Wisest Pearl,

    I seem to be preoccupied at a number of times with the feeling of things spiraling out of my control, of being unable to do things I want to or to help other people in their journeys. Do you have any advice on this topic?

  39. Worried

    Dear Wisest Pearl,

    My heart repeatedly strays romantically towards friends who only seem to see me as such, or “aren’t sure” if they reciprocate. The feelings of never being enough for someone are starting to rise and affect my mental well-being.
    Do you think it will get better? Or is my young heart just too eager for love it hasn’t ever received?

    Your Pearls of Wisdom inspire me greatly, I wish all the best for you.

    • MEpearl

      Dear Worried No More~
      You are enough for ME and honestly, dear, what else matters? I see you. I know you. You are everything you are supposed to be… and more.
      Be proud, be full, be happy. Oh, and let your heart play in the fields of its choosing. No point in trying to restrain a heart. Just never lose the sense of your immense value. That is unassailable. Now go have fun and eat plenty of cherries while they are in season.
      Pearl loves you

  40. wheat crackers

    Hello Pearl! I’m a young girl who met a boy a long time ago. He and I started dating and were very happy together. However, not long in the relationship, he broke up with me over the phone. We were not perfect, I have done him wrong and he has damaged me as well. My greatest problem is that I cannot stop feeling those same romantic feelings I had for him so long ago. I would like to quit but my heart still flutters around him. Oh, majestic Pearl, please give me advice on how to get over him! Thank you for reading, it is greatly appreciated.

    • MEpearl

      Early loves never let go. Get used to it. One day you will hear that he has died and feel relieved. Or is that just ME?

  41. Meredith

    Hi Pearl I just found out that my boyfriend of four years was cheating on me, do you know anyways that I can learn to trust people again and have healthy relationship? I love your videos and you make me smile everyday 🙂

    • MEpearl

      I think you’ve got this one, Meredith~
      Just keep finding what makes you smile and indulge fully. Your healing is under way.
      Love, Pearl

  42. Oli

    Dearest and Wisest Pearl,
    I deeply believe that my cat identifies or is a possum in disguise. How best would I go about to figure this out?
    Thank you for your sage advice.
    Yours Always,

    • MEpearl

      Perhaps your cat is developmentally challenged. Stay loving.

  43. Joshua M.

    Dear Pearl,
    I have a YouTube channel and have been stuck in a rut creatively. What do you do when experiencing a creative block? I recently lost a good friend of mine, and left a controlling relationship. What do I do great Pearl?

    • MEpearl

      Celebrate freedom and express Express EXPRESS!
      Your Pal Pearl

  44. Danny Jo Freeman

    Hey Pearl I just wanted to say hi and thank you for making the videos that you and georgette do. They really remind me of my grandmother as she took in animals all the time. And I’ve really been missing her lately. So thank you for giving a small part of her back to me

  45. John

    Hello pearl,
    Just wanted to say that you are great and that me and my friends love you and your opossums.
    Keep doing the great work you always do.
    Much love from Brazil!

  46. emma

    there’s a huge opossum living in my yard what do i do (photo attached)

    • MEpearl

      Enjoy and protect him/her. Recognize this as the blessing it is.

  47. Izzy

    You had me at Seth, I listen to him speak too.

  48. Mothman

    Dear Pearl,
    First let me say that your videos have brought me much joy in a very dark time of my life. My question is, do squirrels (or possums) recognize a God? Thank you for all that you do, hail Pearl.

    • MEpearl

      Dear Mothman,
      Delighted you find joy but you may not be paying close attention. Squirrels and possums and very bright humans recognize ME.
      Follow the joy.

  49. Qbetex

    Dear pearl of the forest
    Do you have any wisdom to share with a growing lad? This life and it’s many turns can be so treacherous, and you seem oh so very wise.
    Thank you in advance!

    • MEpearl

      Dear Qube~
      Yes. And I am. You’re welcome.
      P de W

  50. Ethel

    Dear Pearl,
    I am utterly useless when it comes to romance and in desperate need of guidance. I’ve been seeing a man that I think I like but every date leaves me with conflicted feelings. How do I make sense of my own heart? Blessings to you and yours.

    • MEpearl

      Listen up, Ethel!
      Your heart makes perfect sense. It knows you are not with the right person. Once you are you will not be conflicted, you will be simply and happily insane.
      Pearl the Omniscient

  51. MackMack

    Oh wise Pearl,
    I work with the general public, at times they can be quite trying… Can you offer some affirmations for my moments of workday weariness? Blessed be Pearl.

    • MEpearl

      Does what you do help the general public or just take up their time with little reward? If you’re not helping, move on. If you ARE helping, remind them of this when they become fractious. A hip flask of bourbon may offer a short term solution but, long term, you’ll regret it. Love the people, MackMack, like ME.

  52. Phoebe

    Hello Pearl! I have been feeling very stressed out because of school and studying, and feel like I’m lazy and don’t work hard enough. I’ve felt worried and upset the whole week. But the videos on the MEpearlA channel are comforting and have helped me to destress, so I would like to thank you and your channeler/former caretaker for making such wonderful videos!

  53. Biscuit

    Blessed and magnanimous Pearl, I’ve received a vision that I must share with your holiness for interpretation. In my vision humans had extinguished themselves from the earth because of their idiocy and Potbellied pigs were left as rulers of the universe. One in particular ruled over them all, he was large and rude with a chipped tooth and a white star on his head.
    Respectfully your follower,

    • MEpearl

      And the patriarchy continues. Pity. Dream another dream, dear one.

      • Biscuit

        I receive this guidance with gratitude. On fine nuts may you eternally feast!

  54. Kit

    Hi Pearl,
    So I concerned. I think have found an exotic opossum, however my friends keep telling me it is a raccoon. It does look like a raccoon, but I feel on a spiritual level that it is a opossum. What do you recommend doing? Should I get more educated friends or try to educate these ones?

    • MEpearl

      Looks can be deceiving, Kit. Only you and the masked opossum know for sure. What others think is often only an inconvenience.
      Your Pal Pearl

  55. nicole

    hi pearl hope your having a good day, I really love your videos and I hope you continue making them. tell your possums I love them for me thank you and bye
    love, Nicole

  56. finley

    Pearl, due to our ever-changing, ever-growing society, it seems that new genders pop up everyday. More than I can keep up with! I’ve been dying to know, is marsupial a gender? Do marsupials have a gender/sexuality spectrum like the humans do? Do they feel love? Do they know God? Also my birthday is next week, can I get a birthday shoutout on your video? Maybe drop my social media @whosjbaker so I can gain some more followers?

    Eternally yours,

    • MEpearl

      No, Yes, Yes, No, No.

  57. laila

    hello pearl! i have a small favor to ask. can you please say trans rights?
    have a great day (and eternity) wise one.
    with love,

    • MEpearl

      Yes, I can.
      Pearl loves you.

  58. YanSandTurtle

    Dear Pearl,
    I am feeling very lonely lately and am convinced I will never find love. How can you guide me towards someone who is right for me so that I may become happy?

    • MEpearl

      Oh dear, YanSandturtle~
      The problem is laid bare in the question. You are right that you must fall in love to be happy. You must fall in love with YOU. Once accomplished, you will be astonished by the number of quality beings vying to bask in your peachy wonderfulness.
      You’re Welcome!

  59. SeekingOpossumArt

    Dear Pearl,

    At the zoo today, I saw that their ambassador animals create paintings (mostly using their feet) for enrichment and to raise funds for the zoo. Do you think you could convince Georgette to do something like that? I’d be happy to pay handsomely for art from my one of my favorite opossums and to support their care.

    Many thanks,


    • MEpearl

      Great Idea, which is why I had it and acted on it several years ago. Fabulous works of art emerged, as you can imagine. Posted with great expectations but public response was beyond disappointing. Could try again. Possums are natural artists with a keen sense of the delicate interplay of light, shadow, color, and theme. We are reinspired, my fan.
      Pearl thanks you.

      • SeekingOpossumArt

        I’d be happy to commission a piece! I’m such a huge fan of opossums and it would be amazing to have art from one of yours

        • MEpearl

          Send details and we’ll work it out.
          Entrepreneurial Pearl

  60. Pearl

    I got my name legally changed to pearl because I worship you so

    • MEpearl

      Very understandable. Had you changed it to Erleen I would have been confused.

      Your Everything~

  61. Juniper

    Hi there-
    I’m feeling frustrated with having to “try” around people. It’s exhausting.
    I just want to show up and be myself with no pretenses, but I don’t know if people really know what to do with that.

    Women are expected to be polite, accommodating, give compliments, be bubbly, etc, and sometimes I’m feeling very internal and quiet.

    I get tired just thinking about all the social conduct puzzles and would rather be more in the background, making things for people to enjoy.

    I’m wondering if you have any advice…
    should I come to terms with needing to try hard at times or acclimate to holding the tension when I don’t feel like adhering to social standards?

    Thanks in advance.

    • MEpearl

      Oh Juniper, Juniper, Juniper~
      You are REALLY angry. Own it and express it, preferably while hurling fist-fulls of spaghetti any ol where. Your condition calls for LOTS of spaghetti. Don’t stint. Also, as as squirrel, my go-to move is to bite my opponents really hard. Guaranteed to get their attention. Try it. You’ll like it.
      Your P

  62. Suxxx

    Dear glorious Pearl, do you have any favorite movies and also, how do you think the universe came to be to grant us such a inspiring leader as yourself?

    • MEpearl

      Well, if you want something done right, do it yourself. And so I did. Favorite movies, ME Pearl videos, of course.
      Thanks for asking. Always happy to revisit my origin.
      Dear and Glorious Pearl, as you say

  63. The One and Only Gremlin

    Sweetest pearl, what was your favorite event of the civil war?

    • MEpearl

      It would have been the masacre of these stupid dum fat ugly twits.
      ” Aside from some small skirmishes in Northern Kentucky, no engagements were reported. Over the next several days, the Confederate force withdrew, and the Squirrel Hunters were never battle tested.

      Discharge papers for a Squirrel Hunter. Courtesy of Google Images.

      A victory parade back across the river into Cincinnati on September 12th would prove to be the high-water mark of the Squirrel Hunters and their popularity among the officers in the army. Union General Smith in Fort Mitchell stated, “Cannot I get rid of the Squirrel Hunters? They are under no control.”

  64. Sally

    I just recieved the pear buttons I ordered to show my support and I am very happy with the product!!!!!

  65. Curious Rediet

    Hello, benevolent Pearl!
    What are the best ways to honor you, and how best could I represent you in my everyday life?

    • MEpearl

      PayPal is very effective along with pamphleteering. Thank you for asking. Pearl the Pragmatic

  66. WildlifeRehabMadeMeLovePossums

    Glorious Pearl, where can I donate to the Wildlife Rehab Center you hail from?

    • MEpearl

      Good Question. You will find numerous PayPal buttons on this site. They all work. Pearl applauds you.

  67. Ernest Hemminway

    Oh dearest Pearl, what is your opinion on billionaires?

    • MEpearl

      I approve of their enviable opportunity to shop their brains out at my store:
      Entrepreneurial Pearl

  68. boo

    hey you!

    • MEpearl

      Hey Boo!

  69. Carl

    Can you help me help people?

    • MEpearl


    • Carl

      Help me help people understand why we worship you.

      • MEpearl

        Friend Carl~ To everything there is a season. There are two types of people; those who worship ME and those who will worship ME later. Best not interfere in their personal timing. Meanwhile, I understand why you worship ME and that’s what matters. The All in One Pearl

  70. Lil BeeBo

    Should I vacanate my children

    • MEpearl

      Only your favorites.

  71. Suxxx

    Dearest Pearl, I deeply am intrigued in your ways and would like to know how to become enlightened in your work. Everytime I visit you, I find myself crying. I would like to ask you a few questions if that is alright.

    1. How did you come to be?

    2. Do you have family?

    3. What is your favorite Kardashian?

    Thank You! May your light shine brightly!

    • MEpearl

      1. I invented myself. My greatest achievement. THE greatest achievement.
      2. You are all my family, dear ones.
      3. Dead dad Robert. He drops in now and again. What a raconteur!

  72. The Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe

    Oh great and mighty Pearl, if you had the ability to die again, would you prefer to be gored by a bull or eaten by a ravenous dog?
    I seek your wisdom.

    • MEpearl

      You are right to seek my wisdom if those are the only options you can offer. You would do well to read more, particularly the classics. As a squirrel I had to eat the classics which can make one irregular, if you catch my drift. This is one of the few instances where you are lucky to be human. Start with Wuthering Heights and Gypsy, then ask ME what you really want to know.
      Pearl loves you.

  73. Nowinsky

    What is the history of the war of 1812?

    • MEpearl

      Greed Aggression Revenge and Regret, the history of all wars except the one with my cousin, Lurleen , but that’s a story for another day. I commend your faith in ME to know this and all things.

  74. Lil BeeBo

    Will you write my english essay for me I need help

    • MEpearl

      No. But I know an exquisite scholar and tutor who is available for such things.
      Pearl, passing the buck.

  75. PraisesToPearl

    Dearest Pearl,I’ve become a quick believer, your insight has helped a lot. I was wonder if I could print shirts for you!
    You’ve awoken my long dead, and not playing dead, inspiration for life.
    Lots of love and happy wishes

    • MEpearl

      Dear Lytle Alex~
      You make Pearl so happy. We live to inspire LIFE. As it happens, we have a store where many shirt designs and styles are available. We would be interested in some non perishable vegan ME Pearl spaghetti, however. When you throw it against a tree it must stick. Think about it.
      Pearl, ever pursuing potential patons.

  76. Colleen

    Why do we never see baby squirrels running around? I’ve only ever observed grown looking squirrels trompsin’ the streets…

    • MEpearl

      For the same reason you never see baby pigeons
      Ponder that~

  77. Olivia

    Dear Pearl,

    My coworkers are not convinced of your excellence, what advice do you have to win them over with you and your opossum?


    • MEpearl

      Dear Olivia,
      I have you and that is what matters. My followers need not Pearlselytize. Everyone comes to ME in my own good time. Pearl the Patient

  78. alayna

    Dear Pearl. Just wanted to send good vibes and best wishes.
    Love, a follower.

    • MEpearl

      Received, dear Alayna
      It pleases ME greatly.
      Your Pearl

  79. angel

    Hey Pearl I’ve been feeling pretty depressed lately, do you know any things that could I do to help me feel better about myself?
    Thanks so much!

    • MEpearl

      Write down 14 things to be depressed about that have nothing to do with you personally and address those. Think globally, act locally. Feeling better about yourself will result from thinking less about yourself and being active. And feed the squirrels. Always feed the squirrels. And not those cheap peanuts, either. We like raw almonds and walnuts.
      Pearl the Profoundly Practical

  80. TookMyPearl


    Will there be anymore videos any time soon? I miss you.

    Much love. xx

    • MEpearl

      Thank you, Thomas~
      We noticed that few viewers have seen all 75 videos. This hiatus is intended to give our beloved followers a chance to catch up.
      Videos go well with spaghetti, herb tea and plenty of cake.
      Pearl the Plump

  81. A cencorned boy

    Dear mepearl aka your earthly care giver i am writing because i think you need to seek the help of a mental health care provider in the mean time keep entertaining me with you wierd theorys about opossums.
    Sencirly a very concerded boy.

  82. Salem

    What do you do if you drowned in a past life?

    • MEpearl

      You join the Global Water Dance. Look it up. You’ll be glad you did.
      Pearl loves you

  83. The Wannabe King of Korea Who Thinks He's Donald Trump


    What do I do with an opossum who jauntily juxtaposes his privy member to others?

    Somewhat Kindly,

    The Wannabe King of Korea Who Thinks He’s Donald Trump

  84. paula

    hello pearl I wanted to know what is the meaning of dreaming of cabbage

    • MEpearl

      That very much depends on what species you identify as.

  85. joe

    hey pearl, i wanted to know what your opinion on the use of medical marijuana was, and if you think it is beneficial to the future of medicine

    • MEpearl

      Whatever get’s you through the night, Joe.

  86. Thomas

    I just recieved a baby possum he or she isn’t a tiny baby it’s a pretty good size baby but I’m not sure what or how to feed it so I’m trying to seek out help and someone mentioned your name to me and said you had the answers I need and it looks like I may have found the right person to find out what I need to know, please respond to me as soon as possible, I don’t want my new baby to be hungry nor dehydrated

    • MEpearl

      Yo Thomas, not really. I am an ascended squirrel revealing deep spiritual truths.
      What you need is earthier and more practical. Put ‘Baby Possum Care’ into your search engine and everything you need to know will be presented. Track down a local veterinarian who does ‘exotics’ and say you have a horse, no, that would be misleading, an opossum. Then program all the pertinent info into your cell phone, including directions, and you are ready to go in an emergency. See if there is a wildlife rehabilitator in your area and maybe get some hands-on help. Possums seem like very simple creatures but their needs are quite complex.
      Thanks for looking after my little one.
      Pearl, Mother of all Creation except for the honey badger who wasn’t supposed to turn out like that.

  87. ImaDog

    Hey Pearl,

    I am a concerned dog.
    Writing about my addiction for chasing sacred little squishy squirrels. How do I conquer my inner dog? I’ve tried tea, and yoga, mostly doing downward dog. If squirrels are the universe, am I a black hole? I feel empty. Help me sacred squishy universal goddess……

    • MEpearl

      What’s the matter with you, ImaDog!!! Don’t you have any toys of your own? You are engaged in the most egregious of
      behaviors with far reaching consequences. Regular Karma is a dance in the park compared to SACRED SQUIRREL KARMA.
      We come after your puppies and your puppies puppies and your puppies puppies puppies and their humans.
      Next time you feel drawn to the chase, just say No. Too hard? Then redirect your attention. I recommend birds.

      Chasing birds is huge fun and, in the unlikely event that you catch one, you will be celebrated, not shunned,
      as is the case with small minded, mean spirited, in-bred, caca for brains K9s intent on savaging my multitudinous beloveds.
      Each squirrel released into your planet is a genuine part of the great and powerful ME and what you do to the least
      of my squirreletts, you also do unto ME. So don’t! Because if you do, with ME s my witness, you’ll regret the day you were ever whelped.
      Love, Pearl

  88. Jessica Silverspoon

    Hey pearl!
    I have a problem….
    The illumiati is coming after me. I cant trust anyone or anything, what should i do

    please help im going die.

    • MEpearl

      Sage advise: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. It’s fun being part of the Iluminati. There are costumes and you can play with really cool eccentrics.
      So stop running and welcome what chases you. Very empowering. And, no, you are not going to die. Not from this, anyway. But do be careful climbing trees which grow at a precarious angle.
      Your Pal Pearl

  89. Nothing Rhymes with Blorenge

    How do I choose a commander of my taxidermy squirrel army? What if we don’t see eye to eye? How do I stop them from rising up against me? Do you like applesauce? I love applesauce.

    • MEpearl

      We advise against activating any kind of army, especially squirrel. But you are onto something regarding applesauce.
      The world does not have enough applesauce. Perhaps you could turn your attention to producing more.
      You’re welcome,

  90. ally

    Dear Pearl,
    Writing with tragic and confusing news: an opossum has reached its final resting place… just outside my bedroom window. Definitely not playing dead as I know they do, it has been there a few days now. I called animal control but they say they cannot help if it the animal is on private property. I am unsure how to move forward. Is the opossum there with you, wherever you are? What is the best way to honor an opossum’s spirit in a time like this? As it has bit the dust so geographically close to where I sleep and I am not sure of the cause of such a sudden death, it would be nice to know whether any negative energy has been left behind and how I should proceed.
    Many thanks,

    • MEpearl

      Once the opossum realizes that she is actually deceased little time is needed to consider future options.Thank you for your concern.

  91. Tiny Squirrel boy

    Hey pearl,
    I saw your possum politics video and I think you should run for president. Ya got my vote :).
    Lots of love Squirrel boy

  92. Michelle

    Just wondering where you got the inspiration for your possum videos?

  93. Jeremy

    Hi Pearl,
    What are your thoughts on snakes? Also, how do you feel about the current Mercury Retrograde?
    All the best, big fan, yours,

    • MEpearl

      Snakes~ Don’t think about them much. They are one of the symbols for the human Goddess, whereas squirrels, specifically ME, am the symbol for the Universal Goddess.
      Mercury Retrograde is a pain in my patute, especially during baby season when all those precious little beings are falling out of trees because Mama can’t get home. Sad Sad Sad. I can fix most everything but this requires concerted human help. Find those babies and get them to a rehabber while there is still time. Protect Mother Squirrel and all Her children.

  94. Duchess of Cornwall

    Dearest Pearl,

    I am so confused! My thoughts return to a Scot that busies himself mainly in the country doing what good he can. He is of little words. Is it best then for me to busy myself as well bc if the stars align they will one day? Or would the great Pearl advise that better to be present and stay present. Thank you for your healing words of wisdom.

    • MEpearl

      My advice is to busy yourself doing Duchess stuff and if something better comes along, Mazel Tov!

  95. Sarah Mcbrayer

    love your videos!

    • MEpearl

      Love to hear that. Am thinking of starting an all squirrel band.
      Pearl the Entrepreneur

  96. kelko

    how do you make milk for a baby goat

    • MEpearl

      O.K., I give up. How do you make milk for a baby goat?

      • Tiny Squirrel boy

        Hey Pearl,
        I was wondering if I could get some help planting my chicken seeds. I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting them to grow what do you think I should do pearl.

        Lots of love Squirrel Boy

        • MEpearl

          What happened to Chicken Boy? No matter.
          Chicken seeds are tricky as you’re never sure if you are planting chickens or eggs.
          Have you considered goats?
          The Ever Pondering Pearl

  97. Heather Drew

    Got my shirt today and LOVE IT! I am so tickled to see that your true spirit of selflessness is shinning through by offering the cosmic soul of the Opossum face time on your T-shirts. You are one step closer to the extinction of your personal ego and oneness with the universe . . . well, not really. I was so enamored by the shirt I forgot about the money I spent . . . oh yes, the money . . .

    • MEpearl

      Hi Fireboltwombatgirl,
      I’m glad you are happy with the shirt, I suppose. When I began this enterprise the intention was that people would
      send ME money and get NOTHING in return. It was so pure. Oddly enough, only a few people obliged and felt the enormous benefit. Others persistently clamored for stuff stuff stuff. They would not be denied. And because Pearl Loves You and is somewhat adaptable under the right circumstances, she provided stuff. You live in a capitalist society and I live in a tree. It’s different. Oh, and BTW, I AM the Universe.
      Your personal Pearl

  98. Possum Witch

    Happy New Year, Pearl! From a big fan and aspiring admirer. Keep living your best life in 2018.

    • MEpearl

      And you, as well, Possum Witch.
      So mote it be.

  99. Walter Iglesias

    Just wanted to send good wishes to a fellow Possum & Animal lover.

    Merry Christmas,
    Walter Iglesias.

    • MEpearl

      Joyfully received, Walter.

  100. Jestress

    Pearl, it feels like the whole world around me is crazy! Everyone around me has screwed-up priorities, and it seems like human society itself is a mess! So, my question is . . . How can I get my fellow humans to give me money? Because, the way I figure it, having money would make my life more enjoyable in the midst of all this madness, or at the least, I could better afford professional help to deal with it.

    • MEpearl

      Right on, Jestress! For ME it’s Filberts but it amounts to the same thing. At least WE have our priorities straight.
      Your Pal,

    • Yuu

      Hello pearl the psychic squirrel, I am on my spiritual journey and I’m unsure if you actually do readings yourself
      But, I am wondering if you can sense about my soul origins I’ have a non human soul if you heard of starseeds, if you can comment on that