ASK PEARL de WISDOM
Let me squirrelsplain this to you…
THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl de Wisdom!
* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl de Wisdom is sooo funny!)
Pearl de Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.
Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.
Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.
Hi Pearl, I’m not feeling to well and my shoulders ache a lot. Do you have any remedies? For shoulders pain?
Drop the rock. Seriously. Think about it.
I love your show
How do I convince my non possum loving friends to accept the furry saviours into their hearts?
I’ve tried giving them possum facts, and sharing my feelings about possums with them, but they still see them as ugly chaotic creatures.
How do I share the cosmic light with them?
Thank you Abraham~
Your friends will come around when they are as advanced as you.
Pearl loves you.
Ok, but your book said if I send you money you’ll send back official documents certifying me as a reverend in the Universal Life Church and I don’t see that option anywhere on this website. I will absolutely send you money in exchange for such a document. I will even print it out myself. When can I expect to confirm my sanction by the beloved patron ME Pearl??
The book referred to this document but never offered it as we are not authorized to do so.
You may be an apostle of Pearl through sincerity kindness and good will.
Love offerings are humbly accepted.
Pearl of 10,001 Names~
Where did you get that fabulous tail? I was born without a tail. All my life I have been searching for the perfect tail, and when I saw yours I was hooked! I have always been partial to the bare skin look, and I love the fact that it can be used as a handle. Form follows function, and your tail fits that to a tee! How do you maintain it? How do you keep it so hair free? Shave? Wax? Nair?
ME Pearl, you are my scraggly haired muse. Can I ask a rather personal question? What do you keep in your pouch when you aren’t expecting? Maybe some grapes? Oh, Pearl, I could go on for days, asking silly questions, and then soaking up the knowledge that flows from you! My hero! My hero is an Opossum, and yours should be too!
My dear Kinney Findlay~
I fear you are under a misapprehension. I am a squirrel and, as such, have no pouch. My tail is lush and glorious with fur.
I am surrounded by many possums and must caution you against claiming one as a muse. They are well intentioned but short on wit and vision.
However the heart wants what the heart wants. Pearl blesses you and all you choose to love.
And Pearl loves you.
My lovely how can I order a signed book. I ordered two from amazon UK is it possible to get it signed or should I cancel them and order them through a different way? Your amazing by the way x
Give me your mailing address and preferred names and I will send you personalized inserts for the book(S).
Pearl loves you.
Pearl are you a God? does that mean you created the world
If you wish ME deified you can consider ME Goddess but it’s not at all necessary. I did create the world retroactively.
The flaws were already there, such as the food chain. Whose dumblebrain idea was that? Scheeeese.
I am very much pleased to have a god as witty as you, praise Pearl!
Um, that’s Goddess, and thank you.
Goddess indeed. Such a blessing in this dark world. Thank you for yet another smile and giggle. Your love and wisdom is far reaching and much appreciated.
You are divine.
Is your pink human doing well during the pandemic that she predicted back in 2012? I just want to make sure someone is there to teach possums to play the lyre when they bore of the bongos.
Quite well, gracias mi amiga.
Will my stinkpot find success and abiding love?
may i worship and pray for you? will this bring me good fortune?
You may. It will. Especially if you are praying to ME.
You may and it will. Especially if you pray to ME.
Are olives beans? My friend and I are having a debate about it.
Who am I, chopped Google?
Dear Pearl. You are a national treasure. I wish you the best and infinite blessings. You’re videos are works of art, and I am having issues with accessing sites to purchase your merchandise.
Thank you, Ka~
https://www.zazzle.com/store/mepearl should connect you to ME Pearl merch. Many thanks for your interest.
There is a female possum in my yard w/ bloody wounds on her neck. Is this normal from mating or is she injured?
Rule of thumb; blood should be on the inside. The appropriate places to contact are Wildlife Rehabilitation Centers, Veterinarians, Animal Shelter.
Facebook has opossum rescue and research groups. Go online.Post pictures to them. This site is primarily for entertainment purposes. What you describe could well be a serious medical situation. Thank you for caring. You have more work to do. Don’t delay.
Pearl Loves You.
Do you think a possum has seen your videos?
Many. Of this I am certain.
Hello, Pearl is God? Are you going to take me into hell? or Heaven?
No, no, and no.
The Ever-popular Pearl
My friend has slight psychic abilities and he’s wondering if he dresses up like a possum Will his powers increase?
Love your YouTube videos, keep up the good work!
What do I do with my life?
Help others, be kind, and stay alert to the inspiration guaranteed to come your way.
You’re welcome. The Big P.
Pearls of wisdom y’all.
Pearl of wisdom
Soooo is there a Facebook page for MEPEARLA? Or only a YouTube channel? LOVE THE VIDEOS! AMAZING!!❤️
Thank you for asking.There is a ME Pearl Facebook page but only for creatures who knew ME when I wore flesh and fur. Otherwise I love and laugh through Youtube and this site. Glad you found ME Here.
Thank you for your kind words.
Your Pal, Pearl
I have a Possum who keeps taking off with my arlo camera. I used to think it was because it is the size of an egg & white. I covered it with a black cover. Possum still took it. It leaves it under my deck (where he shelters). Any idea why he carries off the camera? I can message or email u video if u would like to see the “theif” in action.
Hmmm, what could be the motivation for dismantling a home security system? Hmmm.
Evidently your boy wants privacy. P.
I have a really good squirrel friend named Betty. Maybe you know her? Technically I think she does by “Betty, Queen of the South.”
Anyway, Pearl, I’m being scanned tomorrow for suspected lymphoma. Have a lot of the symptoms, but I’m younger than the average diagnosis. What do ya think?
Maybe my body just sucks in a totally non cancerous way.
Betty won’t answer.
Your body does NOT suck. It provides and it teaches. We’ve all heard ‘your body is your temple’ but it’s also your best friend and ally. YOUR best friend and ally.
The WORST thing you can do is set up an adversarial relationship with your body. Stop that NOW. Mutual support. Mutual support. Think about that. ‘Betty, Queen of the South’ doesn’t doubt her body. She takes full advantage of the joys it affords her. (Nothing compares with the happiness of a squirrel. But I digress.) If and when the body changes, the spirit adapts but you always work in tandem. Couragio! Pearl and Betty love you.
Thank you, Pearl. I do take your point and I’m doing what I can to remain positive. No scans yet, because my insurance has decided to be difficult! I’m pretty certain Betty predicted that one.
In any case, I’m trying to distract myself and I liked the cut of your jib, so I doodled a thing in your honor instead of doing the other things I’m obviously meant to be doing. Please enjoy,
Love it! Thanks. Encouraging others to check it out.
Love the doodle! It’s awesome opossum. Squirrel power ✊️
Loved the drawing, Love and healing light to you
Thank you, Jenny~
I’m starting college soon and I nervous about moving away from my friends and family. I’ll be moving to a very forested area for school, so I’m wondering do you have any advice for making new friends of the human or animal variety?
Keep pockets filled with fruit and nuts.
That should take care of everybody.
Be grateful to share the forest!!!
Are you god incarnate Pearl? Is Georgette only but your puppet to spread your wisdom?
Fine question, Devin~
First, Goddess includes God. The reverse is not true. So, as the all encompassing deity I would rightfully be considered Goddess (of the Universe). As for ‘incarnate’, the too too solid flesh melted away decades
ago. Being dead has only increased my power and lovability factor.
Georgette who? Oh, yeah, right. Umm, sure.
I am sorry goddess, I accidentally typed god instead of using the correctly gendered term. Please don’t smite me, your humble follower. On another note, a question upon a question, because you are infinitely powerful can you grant wishes? I would wish for the funding to build a giant church with a large statue of your likeness. ME Pearl deserves the recognition of the world, and more followers than Jesus himself.
I don’t grant wishes because people then tend to change their mind. You know the old adage about only wanting what you can’t have.
The church and giant likeness to which you refer already exists. It’s not a competition. Jesus and I are tight. Have you seen the painting ‘Jesus and the Twelve Opossums? Google it. We provided the opossums. Actually we lent Him two but Jesus being Jesus…..
But we really like your thinking. Carry on. The P
my friend elle wants to know if the pretty lady is single she says she’s a gilf 🙂
Hey What political views do possums have if any? What are their thoughts on Bidens dog?
Possums are anarchists who disdain dogs of any stripe. That said, Biden’s dogs appear healthy and well cared for.
An old dog will never look like a youngster nor should they. That said, Down with Dogs!
I baked a loaf of banana bread in your name and came to ask for your blessing. It turned out very well so I hope you enjoy it. Also I was asked to let you know that you’re officially revered as part of the Discordian pantheon in the newly established position of Guardian Goddess of Wildlife. We were running out of place so we had to force some minor deity into retirement to make place for you.
Thanks, Lulu, but Goddess of the Multiverse is the only title I need.
Isn’t running out of place, just running?
What food does a possum enjoy the most?
That’s like asking ‘What food does a person enjoy the most?’ Both are omnivores with eclectic tastes.
Nuts and grapes are pretty popular. Grubs are a delicacy.
Do you know when Covid-19 will end?
I am an undergraduate Anthropology & Religious Studies major and I focus on spirit mediums in my research. I study a bit of media studies too. The school I go to requires me to do fieldwork terms which are just experiential learning outside of the classroom. I’m trying to find out what I will do for this summer. My friend just showed me your website and channel and I’m extremely interested in learning more about you and your medium and possibly doing some ethnographic research under you guys. Ethnographic in that I could come to you as fieldwork, or if not maybe we could do research over zoom if that works better for you guys. If you are interested, I will try to apply for grants and all so that I can compensate you guys for your time. Maybe I can use the grant to buy a lot of nuts. So, I am wondering if you would be interested in me studying under the two of you and writing about you guys? Of course I would collaborate with you two, and of course you would be part of the process of representing yourselves and I will not write anything you do not approve of. If you guys are interested, I can send you my resume, transcript, and some of my writings so you two can see how I think. I also want to reassure you, (since this has been a concern for other mediums that I have asked to do research under) that when I’m studying under you I will not be testing whether this is legitimate or fraudulent, but rather simply I am attempting to understand you two more through your guys eyes. I don’t know if you’re interested in having an ethnographer by the name of Mooshie Squiggle to be working under you guys, but in the odd case that this is of interest, let me know please. If you have any questions, or want to know more about me, feel free to reach out to me via email. Thank you so much, looking forward to a response!! >:-)
Dear Mooshie Squiggle~
What you suggest would not be feasible for us at this time. But I’m glad you wrote because we have a very valuable suggestion for you.
Never ever for the rest of you life say ‘you guys’ again. Seriously. Do not write it, do not speak it, do not think it.
Using ‘you guys’ detracts immeasurably from your message and your credibility. Following this suggestion will improve your life in ways you cannot imagine. You’re welcome. Blessings, Pearl
I do not know if you still respond to these, but my friend wishes to know something.
‘What is the meaning of life?’ they ask.
I myself have no questions, but my birthday is in 10 days, may I get a happy birthday?
Happy Birthday, Annu!
There is currently a book underway called ‘Pearls of Wisdom’ in which I, Pearl de Wisdom, explain succinctly the meaning of life. I could tell you here but it would irk the publisher and possibly cut down on book sales. Book should be coming out in December. All will be revealed.
pearl, how did you rise to power?
Helium and Chutzpah
I would love to photograph you in a photo-journalism-fashion. If that is ever of interest, I am semi-local and enchanted by you. I found your advice to “drop the rock” to another writer especially helpful today. Thank you for all you do oh wise one
xo Holly Jo
Dear Holly Jo, Glad you found the advice helpful.Taking pictures of ME could prove disappointing. As often as not I don’t show up in the finished product. It’s a phenomenon currently under investigation. But I will keep this magnanimous offer in mind. Your Pal, Pearl
I was wondering if cats and opossums get along. I think that perhaps one day, if I come across an orphaned opossum in need, that I might care for it for a short time until someone more qualified can arrive. However, my only concern is whether my cat and the orphaned opossum will get along or not. Any pearls (hehe) of wisdom?
In general yes but in the scenario you describe I wouldn’t chance it. Not with a joey, or baby. Also, don’t wait for a more qualified person to ‘arrive’. An ill, injured or orphaned opossum needs quality care from the get-go. Thank you for caring but a good rule of thumb is “If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t do it.” Your Pal, Pearl
I am deathly afraid of snails. If I catch sight of them it is enough to induce a panic attack, just typing this out is making my palms sweaty. Doe you have any advice to overcome this crippling fear O Great One?
Just think how afraid they must be of you, and for better reason. They get scraped off the sidewalks and rooted from their homes and thrown into boiling water, or whatever one does to make escargot. Have sympathy and pity for them. Be very grateful you are not a snail. That should help. Pearl loves you.
What do you think – will I ever move to Hawaii and open up a restaurant on the beach?
Lots of love,
Either that or you’ll move to Domar Tibet and open an oxygen bar. Ask yourself; Do I want the road to Paradise or the road less traveled?
Hi, Pearl! How are you feeling today?
Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Thanks for asking.
I thought and practiced what you advised to me a year ago: to simply but emphatically say “NO” to the memories that bother me deeply; and it worked (but what else could I expect from Pearl)! But now that I am free, I also feel lost. What is the first step to living life again?
With all devotion,
Writing to ME is an excellent step at any time. You ARE living life. Now it’s time to add some FUN.
Ask your friends what they do for fun and join them. No fear. You can do this while remaining introverted.
Pearl loves you.
I have no idea how I ended up here. But fate has a funny way of revealing itself. I have a cat named Quincy Cornelius who often transcends basic cat behavior. He talks to us, plays fetch, and often has his tongue sticking out. Is he of a higher knowledge than us mere mortals? Please advise.
A new follower is born,
Quincy is a mortal, like you, only eight times immortal first. Of course he has a “higher knowledge” than you, he’s a cat!
Hi Pearl, I recently took in what I thought was a small mouse but has since grown to the size of a large dog and terrifies the rest of my pets. I wouldn’t mind so much if dog mouse didn’t keep ordering me around. Its always, dig a hole here, plant a tree there, use this chalk and draw elaborate runes so we can summon my brethren this weekend. It’s back breaking work and I’m a little too old for it, but I also don’t want to be rude and ask it to leave. What should I do?
You make us laugh, Stevie. When you took in little mouse she became a family member and a lifetime commitment.
A friend took in a mini pig that now weighs 1200 lbs. These things happen. Keep planting and keep a low profile.
Be sure to have an evacuation plan in place.
Have you ever been in a movie? You look uncannily similar to an actor in an art film I saw a long time ago!
Wishing you the best,
Look similar or have a similar name?
You are not the first to broach the subject,Tom. Georgette is a woman of mystery.
I, on the other paw, revel in my colorful art film career. Did you happen to catch ME in ‘Dead Squirrel on the Dance Floor’?
I recently watched a decade-old video about why your YouTube channel is called MEpearlA. This makes a lot of sense to me and I wanted to thank you for being a YouTube channel name inspiration. Naming a channel after a deceased squirrel is an enticing idea!
Hey would you be okay with me posting your channel on April Fools day? Your channel is quality but due to it’s sense of humour I think it would be great to post on this day. It’ll be next year ofc. Let me know what you think.
my subreddit is http://reddit.com/r/QualityYouTube
Does this require permissions? If not, of course you can post with our blessings.
Your Pal Pearl
We have been faithfully following your beloved existence for ions. Though you may not be on this realm – you are with us in a much larger capacity. Our need for your insight is astronomical. We, the people, are suffering. How can we fix a broken society who treats animals as nothing more than a product and believe in the possibility of harming a child from within the womb. What have we done? Pearl, oh Pearl, my community needs you.
From the Oshkobillafranken Community located in Nelson, Canada. (Red jackets and all). XX
The broken society you see is a reflection of the brokenness within. Both are true. Both respond to kindness, compassion, humor, and, regrettably, patience.
Tend your own garden. Keep it healthy and beautiful and filled with fresh water for all of my creatures who pass through and grace your existence.
Your best-mannered and most grateful opossum pal, Maple, has not been seen on camera recently; how is that feisty little diva? All the best to Georgette and Royce!
Maple went to live at a wildlife facility in Northern California where she would have the option of living well while avoiding humans altogether.
When last heard from she was exploiting that option to the max. Every possum comes with their own personality and some just can’t be won over. In the wild this is very much to their advantage.
There is a opossum that lives under my bed and tries to bite my knees at night while I sleep. I have tried talking to the opossum and she claims she wants ‘knee marrow’. What do I do?
When in doubt follow the prompts of a possum.
How come the possums and raccoons in my backyard are mean each-other?
Because Henry made an unwelcome pass at Gwendolyn and now both extended families are lex talionis all over each other.
P de W
I am moving to a new city this year for work and I would love to get your advice on what I should do to meet friends and feel comfortable. Thank you for your service!!
Get a bag of walnuts in the shell. Gently crack them. Fill your pockets with high quality all purpose bird seed. Go to the local park. Find a bench under a tree and sit there. Do this daily. Within a week you will have more friends than you dreamed possible. You’re welcome.
Me Pearl , can you please send a happy birthday message to one of your devoted followers, Shelby?
Of course I can but since I don’t believe in the Gregorian calendar there is little point. When you have her Discordian or Erisian date let ME know and I’ll whistle Dixie just for her.
I’ve always thought of myself as somewhat clairvoyant, but I don’t believe in psychic abilities. What is the truth?
No truth for you, Mallory. Reread your opening sentence until you understand why.
Pearl loves you.
Dearest Pearl, is it within your ability to end this horrid pandemic and release us from captivity so me and my long distance partner can finally see eachother? your videos get me through it all and they truly inspire. you are the voice of a generation.
Yes it is. Thank you for the kind words. Pearl loves you.
Greetings, Great One, Pearl.
I am enthralled in the marsupial lifestyle, and wish to expand. After much research I have decided to obtain the truly perfect creature known as an opossum. I have reached a roadblock though. Where does one get such an animal? I wish to provide them with all they could desire and have them live a fuffilling life. This is VERY urgent to me and I wish to seek your wisdom. Thank you for your time,
– Warden, P.h.D
When the time is right the opossum will find you. This is a false urgency. Breath.
Your Pal Pearl
as a long time fan I was hoping you might be able to tell my future. Will I soon find a job that brings me joy?
Have ceased giving out spoiler alerts because they do just that.
Put joy into your job and you cannot fail.
The Big Pearl
Dear Wise and Powerful Pearl,
I asked my neighbor, a possum, to help me with my computer. We opened it up, but now he just lives in there. Things are working fine now, but do you think this will effect the performance of my PC over time?
Assuming that PC stands for Possum Companion, probably not too much.
Your Pal Pearl
I feel you are the right person to address my dilemma. The tiny young opossum who lives in my garden and enjoys many of the fruits and vegetables has now started to break into my house for more snacks (on two occasions). While I don’t mind they eat some of my tomatoes, I’m feeling very uneasy and startled about opossum life inside my home. Is this opossum taking advantage of me or is it a sign I need to let loose and pick out a name?
Define “break-in”. Are there windows broken? Have the locks been tampered with? Possums have no concept of trespassing or owned property.
Look at this from her perspective and you’ll know what to do.
Dear squirrel God,
I am in need of assistance, for I have been smited
Man on fire
First; I am Goddess
Second; I did not smite you so you are not smoot. Relax~ Be Happy~
Pearl Loves You.
I find that when I’m not watching your videos, my life lacks meaning. Perhaps it’s a nutritional deficiency? Please advise.
B Complex and D3 and spaghetti.
I have figured out how to get above practical breakeven with a fusion reactor I can build at home (I think). Should I patent it and start an employee owned company around the patent and give the world vast amounts of inexpensive energy and use some of the profits to help move humanity and other organisms into space?
What on earth is going on here??????? Also, how do I join this religion?
You have ventured way beyond earth. You’re here, now.
Pearl Loves You
Hello, a family member just showed me to your website and I love it! Do you have any good remedies for eye strain? Thank you
Rest and patience might do the trick but, personally, I prefer patches, preferably one at a time.
Pearl, the great Seer
Why do I cough up blood every time I brush my teeth?
Suspect your brush is too long. Why not just gnaw on wood like I do?
Pearl knows best
I have an interest in vampires since I love the book “Let the right one in”. It is truly facinating. My question is, is there vampire possums? Or is there any other kind of entities that resemble that of vampires and other supernatural creatures in the possum kingdom?
Possums are a popular familiar of vampires. Once turned they become unpredictable
Has something untoward happened to inspire this question?
What are your thoughts on the John Mulaney and Olivia Munn situation?
As one whose habitat is always at risk, news of another human is never good.
Pearl the Pragmatic
i feel like i don’t have control over my own life? does everypossum go through this
You don’t. It’s a good thing. Create a steady base and let ‘er rip!!!
Your Pal Pearl
hi pearl, i am a big fan of your life’s research and veracious appetite for ipossum
i hope one day to be like you. ipossum woman.
this is a really awesome.
Pearl, how does Georgette deal with the loss of the animals she loves? She clearly loves you very much and I imagine she must have grieved for a long time when you passed to the other side. I lost my cat of 13 years three weeks ago and I’m still crying every day. I want to become a wildlife rehabber myself, but sometimes I worry about the emotional toll. Do you have any words of comfort? How does Georgette keep from getting overwhelmed and burnt out?
Your suspicions are correct. The emotional toll of wildlife rehab is horrendous. Georgette is still grieving over ME.
That’s why ME Pearl as an enterprise exists, to help her continue coping with the loss. Burnout and overwhelm are constants for Georgette. The only comfort we have for you is that your beloved cat is here with us now. It’s actually dandy on this side of the veil.
Pearl loves you.
I live in London and every day on my walk I pass many grey squirrels. The other day one jumped from a wall to a tree over my head. We have lunch in the park together every day. These are some of the friendliest squirrels I have met, no matter what their ulterior motive may be. However I mourn the loss of the red squirrel population in my country and think of those who I never got to meet with fondness and sadness. What can I do to memorialize those we have lost?
Hi Tilly~ How lovely. What we can all do to memorialize those we have lost is to LOVE those who are left to us.
Hello Pearl how’s it going? Pearl someone I know told me that you don’t have a soul and you can’t be a god But I want to know how you feel about that
what color is your toothbrush please i need to know
Many many brushes in multiple colors but my favorite is a simple brown bamboo.
Thank you for asking.
The Big P
Hello Pearl I feel like my life is going downhill and I feel I have no control over it. What should I do I just want to know.
Let go, Cameron~ Stop trying to control. You can’t. I believe your perception is true. A wonderful new world awaits you at the bottom. Accept help. You are not alone.
Pearl Loves You
Hello, Pearl How’s it going again. You told me that I should accept help but I feel like that’s hard to do. It’s so hard to talk to people and I can’t even talk to my own family about my problems because I feel like they won’t understand. 🙁
Tell ME one problem, Cameron. Choose your favorite. We’ll go from there.
Pearl loves you
Well, My dad did drugs and won’t even talk to me Pearl that is one of my problems. I want my father back Pearl. :[
Tell him, Cameron.
Pearl what color is my toothbrush I need to know If your all knowing
There’s knowing and there’s caring. I do and I don’t.
Hi mepearl, I am a devoured follower of your channel, from Italy
This year, November 15th we organise a surprise opossum day party for a friend of mine to help him get out some difficult situation, ant it was very fun! We made opossum mask and sticker, hiding them in possum-secret box. Thank for all your wisdom pearl!
P.s. there some possibility to get a signed copy of the book in future? I love the poetry hidden in your words~
Good everything pearl~
Glad about your fun possum party.Thank you for your kind words. Would love for you to have an autographed copy of the upcoming book. Not sure how to arrange that but when the book is released in late March we’ll come up with something. Please remind ME closer to that time and send an address.
Your Pal Pearl~
I would like to thank You Pearl thank you so much Love to the Big P
You are so welcome.
Your Pal Pearl
Hi, how are you? What happens after death?
Charlotte and Annabel
You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again~~~
I have a big test coming up. What should i do???
Whatever you deem well prudent.
Your Pal, Pearl
Hi Pearl! I have loved you for many years now and hung onto every word you’ve ever told me. I’ve recently broken up with my boyfriend and I’m sure I’ll never find love. I want a love as sophisticated as the one that your human loves opossums with. Do you have any tips on how to find such a love or am I just going to be single and lonely forever? Please help me Pearl.
A desperate soul
Dear Nickey, STOP IT NOW! Shake off that negativity and self pity and get grateful you got free of that boyfriend.
Best thing that could have happened. Why do you equate single and lonely? Single is an opportunity. Expand! Enjoy! Explore!
You say you are sure you will never find love. No you’re not so stop saying that. A ‘desperate soul’ is extremely unappealing.
Decide what you love doing and do it, over and over and over. You lost yourself, my friend. Time to reclaim Nickey!
Pearl loves you~
good morning pearl. for my whole life i have chewed on wood as a way of self-soothing, but my teeth don’t grow back like a rodent so my front teeth have worn down considerably over the years. should i stop, and if so how? maybe it’s fine
Your teeth will tell the tale. The behavior will disappear with thee enamel. Consider lollipops.
You’re welcome. The Big P
thank you MEpearl
Hey Pearl Hows it going what happens after death preal?
Hello dear Cameron~ I could give you an answer but I won’t because this is NOT NOT NOT the question you should be considering.
Ask instead ‘What happens during LIFE?’ Bring yourself back into the present and stay awhile. What the present requires from you is ATTENTION. This is very important, Cameron. Attend to the present moment, over and over and over until it becomes habit. The reason you are asking what happens after death is that you are in a kind of death right now and you want out. Of course you do. Move out of death and into LIFE. You can do this by simply paying attention to your NOW. Honest. Trust ME on this. Pearl loves you.
pearl you are my soulmate and i love possums more than i love people
When I was around 4, my brother’s whippet found a young opossum in our backyard. My mother called a wildlife rescue group who suggested, seeing as the opossum was not injured, that we take care of it until nightfall and the mother would come back for it if we left it near where we found it. During the hours that the opossum was in our care, I became infatuated with it. I cuddled and snuggled it and took it for a stroll in the park in my baby doll’s stroller. When my friends saw me with the creature, they were horrified. sissies. Long story short, I have not had any close female friends (I am a woman) from that moment forward. However, I have had a myriad of lovers (not an inordinate amount though). Perhaps this is because of my eccentricities. I have often found better companionship in birds, hamsters, and dogs. I like to think, though, that it is because my enchanting beauty intimidates other women. I am sure that you will agree that it is very difficult to be beautiful. To be born knowing that you were destined to live your life with the regal air akin to that of a princess or a goddess is quite a difficult burden to bear. Do you agree? How do you think I can get other women to like me?
By the way, the little opossum was successfully returned to its mother.
Hello Charlotte~ First, need to quash some misinformation. Mother possums do NOT come back for their lost babies. Many species do but not possums.
Be kind and helpful to other women and interested in their stories. Very simple. No trick. And try to forget that you’re beautiful. It’s really irritating.
Pearl loves you.
O wise, great Pearl,
I apologize for troubling you, however it appears I am at an impasse in life. The fickle threads of fate have pulled my mundane life into turmoil
Because of one simple question, my once simple way of living has been complicated, and now I am forced to make a decision harder than many out there have to make
I have spent many moons traveling to various mountaintops and witch’s hovels, leaving each time not only without an answer, but with more questions. Though eventually, a lone monk in Tibet pointed me to your teachings. And thus to this very website
So wise squirrel, in all your omniscience, I ask the question that many others have tried and failed to answer. Should I get the soup or salad?
Always the salad.
Hello, pearl are aliens real are their things out of this earth and things we don’t know of yet??
Take this to the Big P
I was wondering if you were part of the witch community, and if so do you had a favorite spell?
Squirrels really don’t have to work that hard. We KNOW and CAN DO quite naturally. It’s good to be a squirrel.
Dearest Pearl, I wrote a song about possums and even made a whole music video about it. They just deserve so much and a musical tribute felt right. This is my first ever song but I really want to get it out into the world for all the possums to hear! Could you please play it for your possums and let me know what they think? Also do you have any advice on how I can get my song out there? Thank you! Love, Madison <3
Ps. Here is a link to the song: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdD2QrV7/
Never cry when you can laugh.
I have been having issues with my mental health, and have been increasingly worried about the concept of death. It keeps me up at night, and I have panic attacks thinking about the sensations of dying and the life after. I am really young, so I don’t want to live the rest of my life in fear of what’s to come. If you can offer me any advice, I’d appreciate it a lot.
Hold onto ME tight and we’re going to take a leap of faith. There is no death, only a change from one dimension to another. I know. I’ve done it.
It is wonderful here on the other side. I PROMISE. But~and listen closely~it is very important to live fully first. Love as much as you can. Have adventures!
Set goals and work to achieve them. Be kind to others. They are all struggling inside just like you are. Do something every day to make the world better, like give a squirrel a walnut. What you think of as death will come in its own time and wrap you in a warm blanket and carry you here. But now is NOT the time. Now is the time for you to LIVE, Zachary. Look for what brings you joy and do that. I recommend playing with spaghetti for starters. Then one day, far in the future, I shall meet you here and we will celebrate. Pearl Loves You
Pearl is clearly a prophet ahead of her own time. We can’t wait to read the new book and “squirrel” away all the nuggets of knowledge, like so many buried acorns! Keep up the essential work of keeping us all enlightened. We love Pearl!
I date human men and am contemplating how to tell the difference between someone to build a future with and someone to enjoy while convenient. Do you have any tips on human males and what to make of them?
xoxo thanks a bunch
If you can live without them, that would be preferable. Otherwise eschew the flashy ones, charisma is a trap, and seek out the quiet unassuming ones with
the light of passion burning in their eyes………..unless they seem like a psychopath, then get a puppy.
The All-Knowing Pearl
I tried to contact you with my tarot cards but I think I got someone’s racist grandfather. Anyway, I’m 29 and I’ve gone no contact with my family. They have been cruel and somehow my amazing grandmother created so many narcissistic children that have harmed me in multiple ways. Anyhoo. I love you. Can I be your family? I can cook and bake. I recently rescued a puppy being used as dog fighting bait. His name is Finn because he’s a brave boy (Like in Adventure Time).
Do I qualify?
You would be unhappy as my family. Once the novelty wore off you would miss the drama you find elsewhere.
You tell ME that you and Finn have been harmed in multiple ways and I don’t doubt you. It’s a very good sign that you came to ME. Means you can recognize a safe space.
But you must be brave, like Finn, and set out on new adventures in search of other safe spaces until you eventually find your tribe. And you will. Meanwhile, you are welcome to visit here any time.
Pearl Loves You
Pearl, Why is Jacie in my life?
And Thank You so much for all you do 🙂
Jacie is an AFLO, Another Friggin’ Learning Opportunity.
Kindness and patience.
Hello Pearl although perhaps I should call you Georgette Spelvin.
Yes I have noticed you are into New Age Practices
I hope you change your ways and come to know Jesus.
I was involved in New Age/Occult stuff for years it is attractive and interesting but
it can send you to Hell. I am sure you want to go to Heaven!
Perhaps God is telling you to come out of the New Age and be a child of God.
You seem like a really nice person but I can see New Age demons operating in you.
Perhaps you could consider what I have said.
It is usual for someone in your position to resist against this message.
God loves you and wants you to be born again!
If you want me to pray with you I am happy to do so.
I know you have witnessed alot of dark things
You came up on a Facebook post so I clicked.
Nothing in the spirit world is more powerful than the blood of Jesus
Call out to him fast and pray read the Bible
Psalms 103 is my favourite.
Fill yourself in Gods word the wisdom of the spirit
Look after yourself sweety. Let go of the former things
God will protect you once you decide to come on this journey.
Yes I think I am a cat person over Possoms
My friend Claire really loves Squirrels
Ok take care of yourself
God Bless. 🙂
Thank you for your concern, Bright Bunny~
What you refer to as New Age practices are actually pre-judeo-christian, before the introduction of the
heaven/hell concept. We neither desire nor anticipate going to either. If we can lighten the load and bring a smile to your face we are fulfilled. Pearl Loves You~
Pity you can’t love ME as I am, as so many happy people do.
Hi Pearl, Do you have any advice for my human factors students?
Attend to the two missing factors; Spiritual and the human need for interspecies communication.
I am about to graduate and I don’t know whether I want to move to a different state or stay here with friends and family. What would you do?
Expand your horizons whenever possible. You can always visit friends and family between Citizen of the World adventures.
Live Big, Chloe~
Your Pal Pearl, who knows where it’s at
Should I divorce my husband? He has been eating tubs of butter overnight and then hiding them under the kitchen sink and thinks I don’t know he is doing this… but I do. Is this weird? Help. I need advice. I don’t think I can watch this much longer.
You should not divorce your husband for eating butter. He should divorce you for even considering it. Pick your battles, Maddie.
Pearl, who knows what’s under your bed
Pearl my friends and I love your videos on YouTube what would it take to get an autograph picture with you and some opossums?
It comes with one of the Patreon tiers but if you send a name and address we’ll mail one.
Hi Pearl, how do I stop taking myself so seriously?
If you took yourself seriously enough you’d realize that having fun is critical to self-realization.
hi pearl. any advice on habit forming or managing executive dysfunction?
Hey Edda~ Evidently you have some excellent executive functioning as you knew enough to consult a dead squirrel for advice. Build on that.
What habit are you attempting to form? A new habit or a replacement habit? I’ve noticed that humans seem easily able to form the habit of day drinking. Hope this is helpful.
Your Pal Pearl
thank you MEpearl
me and my partner are huge fans of your videos and we wanted to know how you feel about trans rights.
theo and max
Dear Theo and Max~ Pearl loves her fans unconditionally.
I should get straight to the point but I really like my teacher, Like I love and care about him not like I have a crush on him but how one would love a family member. And I just wanna know How I can tell him that I care about him because he has always been there for me even when I was being a bit of an asshole to them. So I’m wondering how I tell them this how do I tell them that I care about him ?????
Offer your assistance.
hi pearl what should i have for lunch
My Dearest Pearl,
I have been stricken with the most rife inner turmoil as of late and your brazen squirrel spirit which lives on in the heavens is the only being which I felt could adequately help me.
I currently own two cats, one of which is a complete jerk and the other of which is a little “special”. I love them both to death but would like to add a possum to our family as well. My inner voice is telling me that this is a bad idea and that my scuzzball cat will hurt his new brother/sister, but I can’t help myself from wanting to add the possum to our nuclear family.
After some deep introspection I have come to realize that my one true love in this existence is opossums. I need you help answering this question; When I get my newest family member, should they not get along with my cat, do I let the cat go? At what point is it okay to let go of a family member if they are causing too many problems and refuse to help themselves?
Thank you for your guidance,
Cat Lady who’s soul is empty without a possum in her life
O.K., Cat Lady~
First, no one “owns” a cat, or any other animal. You may become responsible for their welfare but you do not own them.
The concept diminishes both of you and interferes with any genuine relationship. Next, a cat is not a ‘which’, a cat is a ‘who’.
Whenever possible heed your inner voice unless it has a history of leading you astray. The only reason to bring an opossum into your life is if the animal is too impaired to manage on his or her own in the wild.
You ask a question that I just know you can answer; “At what point is it okay to let go of a family member if they are causing too many problems and refuse to help themselves?” I wonder if your mother wrestled with this question? What do you think? Simple answer is ‘at NO point is it OK to reject and abandon a vulnerable innocent being who trusts and depends on you because at some point you made a sacred commitment to always be there for them. Hello! Traditionally cats and possums get on fine. but that’s the least of your concerns. You say “After some deep introspection I have come to realize that my one true love in this existence is opossums” This is not something you discover through introspection, you discover it by spending time with possums, which I don’t hear you have. Here is the advice you seek: Find your closest wildlife center and volunteer in the small mammals unit, which will include possums. Put in the time and effort required to learn how to look after these unique creatures properly. It is NOT intuitive. This is tough love, Cat Lady, and I hope it will spare you the inevitable remorse that would result from following your uninformed feelings. It’s often dicey to seek serious advice from a dead squirrel but in this case you did right. Your experience as a wildlife volunteer will be life changing in the most wonderful ways. There is no downside. Keep us posted. Pearl Loves You
I am often asked by relatives and strangers alike what the phrase “a sober possum is a social asset” truly means and I’m not quite sure how to respond. What should I tell them to really drive the idea home?
A drunken possum rarely contributes anything of value to the conversation. Once you experience this you can appreciate how a sober (i.e. enlightened) possum graces any social situation. Their rapier wit is non-pareil.
my eighth bday party is coming up and i chose a pool party (secret: i hate swimming – well i can’t swim…) i feel conflicted because my crush likes to swim and i chose a party based on what he’d like to do. but he can’t come to my party so now im stuck. what should i do?????????
also wish me happy birthday xoxo
see ya possy,
My feeling is that an eight year old who uses the word ‘conflicted’ can appreciate the irony of your situation.
But what a birthday blessing! Use this opportunity to start learning to swim. Since your crush won’t be there
you shouldn’t care how awkward you look. I swam down the Ohio River in 1803. Invigorating!
And remember, you have to swim before you can fly. Happy Splashing dear Raven~ Your Pal Pearl
My mom has had an uncomfortable pain in her neck for some months. She has tried many solutions including massage, chiropractic and even acupuncture. Can Pearl intuit or divine an unexplored potential solution to my mom’s discomfort? Perhaps Pearl may even be able to heal her using psychic powers (white magic)?
Thank you Georgette!
Hello Frederick~There is some important information that your mother is resisting listening to/hearing. The fear is that allowing this information in will require taking action(s)that your mother would prefer to avoid. Resistance is futile. Her spiritual evolution has brought her to this point. It’s a good thing. What is needed is a willingness to confront and accept what is. It will help her to simply relax and allow. It is better on the other side. Pearl promises this.