ASK PEARL

by | Apr 6, 2010 | 1,139 comments

Let me squirrelsplain this to you…

 

THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl of Wisdom!

* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl of Wisdom is sooo funny!)

Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.

Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.

Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.

1,139 Comments

  1. Your true love

    Dear Pearl,
    what do you think about de’pression? I have been struggling for a few years. nothing seems to help. medication is failing me. I want to be a possum because they have short lives. please help.
    sincerely,
    sadboi in seattle

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      I feel ya, bro. Psychic anchors on every limb and a brain filled with porridge and quills. Pearl knows. Pearl cares. Let the fact that you are not a possum be an elfin light on your dreary mindscape. You say medication is failing you, not that it has failed you. Keep trying. Don’t give up before the miracle. Sending you tons of happy woo woo. Pearl loves you. (Fat lotta good that does, right?)

      Reply
      • Alyssa G K

        Hi Pearl,

        Do you know how to get in contact with Georgette? I’m casting a TV show and we want to talk to her!!

        Reply
      • Natali Samples

        Help! I have an orphaned baby opossum about six inches long (tail not included), how do I train it properly as all the wildlife rehabilitation personnel have turned her down? Sense it is a single very young opossum And I live in a rural area I have adapted to make her a pet as I am a training rehabber myself. But I do not know how to go about training her, please help!

        Reply
        • MEpearl

          You are not going to ‘train’ her. You are going to provide her with all she needs to be a proper opossum. Hit Google. Ample information to be found there. Pay close attention to dietary needs. Lucky you. Enjoy.
          Your Pal Pearl

          Reply
  2. Dalloway

    Dear Pearl,
    How are you? What do you expect for the next year? Do you have any plans for christmas?
    I hope you have a good time. Your videos bring love and hapiness to my life. Thank you! See you, xx.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Stay tuned to MEpearlA on Youtube for answers to all of your questions. Your Pal P

      Reply
  3. Havana

    hi pearl,
    i think youre really awesome, and i want to know, what do you think happens when we die? since you are a dead squirrel, and all knowing, i figured you may have some insight to this question!
    thank you, blessed be and i love u

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Havana~ As you point out, I know exactly what happens when we die. We don’t. Nothing to worry about. Carry on. P de W

      Reply
  4. sad sam

    hi pearl I recently lost a dear freind/brother/soulmate/rat/loaf and since you are all knowing I was wondering how I can get over this great loss thank you pearl
    ps. is this a religion if so I would like to join

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      You will never get over this great loss. Nor should you. You are forever changed. That’s love for ya. This IS a religion and you’re in, Sam. Welcome.
      Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  5. Milo Yiannopoulos

    Greetings,
    You are wonderful. Please contact, we wish to have you on our Friday night program! Will you bring the joy of Pearl to FreeSpeechTV? Can the Pearls of Wisdom manifest amongst the punk-right of the internet? We need you. We are not worthy.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Ummmmmmmm no.

      Reply
  6. Linda

    Pearl, I think I’ve met my soulmate, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. What are some creative ways to express love?

    Reply
  7. Lauren

    O graceful leader Pearl, my boyfriend has a really bad haircut and doesn’t know how to get himself fixed. Can you recommend a good haircut for men so I can look at him again? Thank you.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Lauren, There are certain things Pearl just can’t work up any interest in. This is one of them. Good luck. Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  8. shea

    hello pearl! i hope you are having a fine day. i need advice on thriving. how do you thrive? im sorta in a rut. thanks!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Do what you love ….. except for what is illegal, immoral, or just shabby.
      You’re welcome. P

      Reply
  9. jeff

    this kid keeps breathing on me and is giving me germs! my mother will get sick if he doesnt stop! Pearl please kill him!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Done! But it may take awhile. P.

      Reply
  10. the alleys

    Hi Pearl. I hope you, Georgette, and the opossums and other squirrels are doing alright. Out of curiosity, are you bookable for events? My best friends and I adore your channel and we have some birthdays coming up and would love to meet you! 🙂
    peace and blessings,
    the alleys

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Alleys, Thank you for your interest. No. Love, Pearl

      Reply
  11. JadeDuck

    Hello Pearl,

    My family is looking to get another dog (both of ours passed last year, and we feel that it’s finally time for another one). However, we’ve moved into a more rural area and my father wants an outside dog who won’t scare off the opossums we have around the house. He likes to watch them run around the yard at night. Do you have any dog breed suggestions?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Check breeds with a low prey drive. NOT any kind of terrier. Congratulations on a new family member. P.

      Reply
  12. Klara

    Dearest Pearl,
    I have just started college and seek advice on how to make friends. I am not shy, so approaching others is not the problem, but I am admittedly a bit strange, a bit of an oddball, if you will – in the best way, though (hopefully). How do I form meaningful connections without scaring people off with my sense of humour or having to pretend to be normal?
    In earnest and with love,
    a friendless friend-seeker

    Reply
    • Klara

      Update: It has been 4 months and I have made 1 and a half friends.

      Reply
      • Liwi

        Channeling ME Pearl’s infinite wisdom, may Pearl light so shine on your path: When it comes to friends, focus on quality, not quantity; send positivity to those who send positivity to you and also to those who don’t because only Pearl knows the inner struggle within the hearts of all; trust your gut – it may be Pearl sending you a message you should definitely listen to. love + light + Pearl, Liwi

        Reply
  13. Callie

    Hey Pearl, how do you feel about the phrase, “Ok Boomer”? Best regards.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      I’m an 11 year old dead squirrel. What do I care?
      Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  14. sweet pea

    Greetings and salutations, Pearl. I was wondering, since you are a dead squirrel- can you talk to other dead animals? Other dead humans? Or is your communication only with your human representative. Thank you.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dead, Living, and Not Yet Born. Sure I CAN talk to them but do I WANT to? Dead creatures tend to procrastinate and that makes them dull.
      Why do you ask, Sweet Pea? P

      Reply
  15. Sierra

    Hello Pearl,
    Do you have any insight about how to be as great and perfect as you?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      The challenge for humans is growing the luxurious tail. After that everything just falls into place.

      Reply
  16. Chonky Catto

    Dear Pearl,

    I have had a very difficult, traumatic life and just want to transform myself into something good that can change the world like you. How does one become a force for good when life is so hard Pearl?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Chonky Catto~ Your salvation is in your question. Your realization that a difficult traumatic life can propel you into being a force for good is the major obstacle overcome. BRAVA! Now, look to what you have learned that makes life easier and share that. Share your gems of experience. And always look for the funny. That’s the teaspoon of sugar that makes the medicine go down. Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  17. Zachary

    Dear Pearl,
    My coworkers say that I’m wildly obsessed with opossums and that I should seek professional help. They’re often annoyed by me changing the backgrounds on the work computers to photos of them. How can I convince them that opossums are the cute and amazing creatures they are?
    Regards,
    “The weird opossum guy”

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Weird Opossum Guy,
      You may need professional help.
      Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  18. Joseph

    Pearl,
    As a young man, I found a small, injured possum. I rescued it and nursed it back to health. In an effort to tear down the wall of enmity betwixt man and animal, I named it “Francis”. I chose that name because it was the only name that I knew of, as a seven year old, that worked regardless of the sex of the name. It regained its health and I returned it to the wild, never knowing if it was a boy or girl. Would you be a dear and ask around up there, I’m sure there aren’t many possums named Francis in the great beyond, and let me know if it was a boy or girl? Did it ever marry? Have a family? Eat dog food from a dog’s bowl while the dog slept?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Francis grew into a lovely lady opossum. Friends and family(that would be you) refer to her as Fran. She and innumerable descendants will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. What a joyous reunion that will be.
      Yours, Pearl

      Reply
  19. Anxious in Arizona

    Hello Pearl!

    I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and have been on medication for nearly 5 years. Every once and a while (because I’m super forgetful) I’ll forget to take my meds, and often the day after next is awful. Do you have any tips for getting through bad days when everything feels cold and empty?

    Much love from Arizona!

    Ps: I hope that you, Georgette, and the other furry friends are doing well. Have a happy holiday season and happy new year!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Anxious in Arizona,
      Pearl knows. Georgette has experienced what you describe. In Arizona, no less. Scottsdale and…wait for it….Sedona, one of the seven spiritual centers of the world. Still it felt like slogging through slow moving quicksand. Work through your resistance to the medication (you are not “super-forgetful”). Never underestimate the chemical component. Then find something that you consider more important than yourself and start supporting that, commit to that. Shift the focus away from yourself. Sometimes it’s necessary to do this while consuming a compensatory amount of spaghetti and cake. Pearl is with you 140 %.

      Reply
  20. Jartmouth

    What are your thoughts on vaping? Love you squirrel friend

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Never think about it. P

      Reply
  21. Dion

    Hey Pearl, what are some of the best snacks for squirrels and opossums? Especially opossums. They come around my house every so often and I love the heck out of those cute little marsupials and want to sho them some love

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Dion, Grapes, shelled walnuts, almonds, apple, blueberries, strawberries, pumpkin, endive, persimmon, lightly steamed broccoli, carrots, …this works for both and the variety is healthier. Squirrels will prefer only nuts but don’t give in. Possums have a sweet tooth and will eat most anything but don’t give in. Think produce. Avocados are a big hit…in moderation. Good question!
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  22. Crystal Johnson

    Will Harry and Meghan make it?

    Reply
  23. Hercules hedgehog

    How much money makes Pearl happy? I am ready and waiting to give to you so that I can feel great!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      As much as I can get without making anyone else UNhappy. You be the judge.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
    • MEpearl

      How much ya got?

      Reply
  24. Possum Splendor

    Dear Pearl. On behalf of the community house Possum Splendor, we humbly invite you and all your opossum friends to come over for an evening of yummy treats and warm drinks. We have some opossum friends here also, as well as raccoons that live in the top-top room( aka the 4th floor). We want to thank you for spreading the TRUTH and BEAUTY of OPPOSSUM! We also have a guest room available if you wish to stay for an extended period of time and shoot your Opossum videos. This could be a lovely Opossumability for all of us.

    Reply
  25. DrMilfhunter

    Dear Pearl,

    Does my girlfriend really love me?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      No

      Reply
  26. Marian

    Hi, Pearl.
    I’m at an impasse in life. I am unsure how to continue on and whether or not to stay my current track or make a big change. What are your thoughts?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Get down and jive.

      Reply
  27. Scotty Wilshire

    Hello pearl of the seas, o gracious one. I have crippling anxiety when ordering food in front of druids. What should I do? Also what squirrel is best for me? Thank you!

    Scotty, your faithful one

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Stop ordering food in front of Druids. What squirrel do you think is best for you? HELLO. P.

      Reply
  28. Harley Davis

    Hello hope this finds you well. I live in a city and want to make a safe place for the opossum. Do you have any advice on care or helping them survive?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Individually or collectively? Leaving them alone is usually the best way to help them survive.P.

      Reply
  29. John Doe

    Who is your favourite opossum celebrity? There are so many good potential answers.

    Kind Regards,

    Someone

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Plum

      Reply
  30. Defconairsoftersupreme

    Soy Holy Pearl , how can I achieve oneness with the great BB? Thanks

    Reply
  31. Ann-Sofie

    Dear Pearl

    I was wondering if I could make a couple of possum illustrations based on your youtube videos.
    I would be making these for my college class of illustration!
    I’ve recently been really loving all the possum content out there!
    One more question, what would a possum’s favourite tea flavour be?

    Lot’s of love from Belgium,
    Ann-Sofie, a big fan of possums

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Ann-Sophie~
      Illustrate away! ‘Morning Thunder’ but it messes with the image. Go with ‘Hibiscus’.
      Lots of love to Belgium~
      P

      Reply
  32. a paradoxical dragon

    Dearest Pearl,
    My grandmother died almost 8 years ago when I was a younger teen and I never had the chance to say goodbye to her before she died. In the years after her death, I have struggled and been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety and learned about a family history of these afflictions which included my grandmother. I remember that when I was a child, she would often spend a lot of time in her bed alone, even when the whole family was at her house. My mom would always make us go upstairs to say hi to her before we went off to play and sometimes I would complain about having to go up and spend time with her instead of playing. Now that I am older and I understand why she spent so much time in her room alone, I feel immense guilt for not spending for time with her and viewing it as almost a chore since I know she loved having our company and that it probably helped her feel less sad and alone. Pearl, what should I do? I wishI could make up for the time I didn’t spend with her when she was alive.
    Since you’re the only dead (and psychic) squirrel I know, I figured you would be a good person to ask.
    From Russia with love,
    a dragon

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear dragon,
      It WAS a chore for you to upstairs to her, just as it would have been a chore for her to go downstairs to you. You were both doing the best you could. She feels guilty for not being the grandmother you needed and wants you to forgive her. You can do that, right?
      Pearl loves you

      Reply
  33. Camesol

    Why Are There Acorns in My Garage?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      O.K., I’ll bite. Why are there acorns in your garage?

      Reply
  34. MACMcanada

    Hello beloved pearl, I am under a lot of stress due to school and I was wondering how do you deal with your stress?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      I eradicate the causes but then I’m Pearl and you are not. Drugs can be good. Find another school. Get a long haired kitten. That’s probably the best.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  35. Aidan

    Hey Pearl, I was just wondering, what’s your favorite food?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Walnuts, persimmon, avocado, and spaghetti.

      Reply
      • MEpearl

        Endive, pumpkin, sugar snap peas.

        Reply
  36. Sean

    If I happened to lose my beloved o-possum down the back of my fridge on a cold and rainy Wednesday night as I prepared such a scrumptious meal of greens for such a graceful specimen that an o-possum is, what would you recommend doing to get him out from behind the fridge? Obviously this hadn’t happened to me, of course, but in case such a thing did happen to me and my o-possum, what would you do to lure out the o-possum from behind the fridge?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Liver or mackerel in a have a heart trap.

      Reply
  37. Ethan

    Hi pearl. How do you keep yourself motivated? Sometimes I feel like I have no direction in life. No passions. If I don’t know what I aspire to be, how do I keep the wheels that move me forwards turning?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Ethan~
      Squeaky wheels get the grease. Ask for what you need and want. Get loud, if need be, even though it is not your nature. I stay motivated because I have a service to perform and lessons to teach and promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Aspire to be of service, Ethan. Opportunities abound. Plus it’s fun and feels good. Pearl loves you~

      Reply
  38. Steve

    You seem to be knowledgeable about possums yet your calendar shows a squirrel. Is this a hoax, or does it have a hidden meaning? That is really my question about everything.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      See the video ‘ME Pearl Explained’. And, yes, there is a hidden meaning, always. Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  39. Mary Wetterling

    Hello pearl. I love possums so much and have always wanted a pet possum. Or to at least hold one. I live in the suburbs of Chicago and do not know where I can find one to hold. Do you have any ideas of how I can hold a possum? If so please email me back. Thank you for your website and YouTube channel and give all your possums big hugs for me!!
    -Mary 🙂

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Find the closest wildlife center/sanctuary and volunteer. It’s a life changer. P

      Reply
  40. Angel

    Dear Pearl,
    My aunt recently passed and I feel rather hollow. I really want to know if she’s doing okay wherever she is now and if she’s proud of me and her daughter.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Angel~
      Your Aunt is doing just fine and she’s very proud of you. Her daughter, on the other paw, needs some work and everyone in the family knows that.
      Love, Pearl

      Reply
  41. SedonaVortex

    Greetings Pearl. Your work is fantastic and I’m lucky to have found it. Whats your skincare routine to keep that dead squirrel pelt so radiating?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      My skin and hair grew in luminosity after death sort of like a vampire but without all the creepy elements.
      Now it’s just a spritz of spring water, positive thoughts and an indomitable will for perfection. Thank you for noticing.
      Bet you’re pretty, too. P.

      Reply
  42. YOUpearl

    Hello Pearl, I would love to know if Georgette Spelvin is a wildlife rehabilitator. Did she rehabilitate you?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Yes. Georgette became a wildlife rehabilitator in order to take care of ME. I taught her everything she knows and am still working on it. Thank you for asking. The Eternal Pearl

      Reply
  43. Rowan

    Hi pearl! I just love all the work you do. I’m having trouble in my love life, I’m wondering how I can start accepting love from others and myself❤️

    Reply
  44. Jim

    Dear Pearl,

    First, the squirrels of Lake Ola say hi (I think): “huh huh huh huh huh ahk! ahk!”

    The universe has been blessing me the past few months. I feel lucky, but don’t want to waste it on something selfish like a lotto ticket. My question is, what is the best way to share my luck?

    Oh, and the squirrels here don’t need luck. I already give them the big nuts in the bird seed.

    Cheers,
    Jim

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Just what you are doing, Jim. Talk about your good fortune. Remind the disenchanted ‘luck’ exists and shows up when least expected. Squirrels are cheer leaders and comforters. Whenever squirrels are around conditions are ripe for a miracle. P.

      Reply
  45. Dominic

    Where did all the ancient civilizAtions go?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Excellent question, Dominic. They didn’t actually GO anywhere. They are all around us waiting for a comeback. Yes, I know. Pearl

      Reply
  46. Scorni

    Dear Pearl the omniscient,

    May I start off by saying what a shining coat you had in life and how your transcendence has smattered it in celestial stars!I adore what you do for your adoring following.

    My question is, do you mind telling your human meat puppet what a good job she is doing and what a magnificent person she is? I am sure she doesn’t need to know this and probably has a terrific grasp on it already, but regardless, we all need praise, and she is well deserving.

    Thank you for your divine blessings.

    Through nuts and claws, yours truly,
    ~Scorni

    Reply
  47. Audrey

    Hi Pearl,
    You are an inspiration to the world. I hope you and the apostles are doing well.

    Audrey

    Reply
  48. Esme

    O Beloved Pearl,

    I live in an area populated with many other squirrels, which are obviously inferior to You. However, I would still like to be friends with them. So, my question is, how do you think I can become friends with a regular, non-psychic squirrel?

    Thank you, O Magnificent Benevolence!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Walnuts. But watch your thumb which can be mistaken for one. Update your tetanus shot and welcome to the love of squirrels. Pearl is happy.

      Reply
  49. Phyllosaurus

    Pearl!

    Here’s what’s in my heart—-

    I LOVE YOU PEARL! YOU ARE SIMPLY THE BEST!

    I am also a small mammal rehab volunteer and social media manager. I tend to gravitate towards Racoons however. Do you think I am more suited to the fostering of Oppossums? What does Pearl see?

    love you love you love you dear spirit! You make this world soooooooo much better!
    Phyllosaurus
    Canada

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Phyllosaurus~
      Go where you gravitate but many small mammal rehabbers do both and several more. Learn everything you can. We also love the masked opossum, what you call raccoon.
      Thank you for the kind sentiments. Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  50. Kaeo

    Dear Pearl. In the last 18 days i’ve lost 4 people whom i’ve loved to the next life. Brandt and Katie were murdered who knows why. Kims habits finally caught up with here leaving 2 children behind. Worst of all Sarahs son (minor no names here but you know) was killed on his bike by a driver not paying attention. Its been hell but will you look after all 4 of them for me? I know its alot but I’d really appriciate it.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Of course.

      Reply
  51. Boo

    Hi Pearl,
    I just found your videos and I love them, you are so calming and wise.
    My question is, im gay in a homophobic family, how do I come out?
    Thank you so much,
    Love you!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Boo
      Your mom already knows. She knew before you did. Hope this helps a little.
      Pearl Loves You

      Reply
  52. Possumparty

    What does “a sober possum is a social asset” really mean? I would love to know.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Just a simple unassailable truth.

      Reply
  53. Shannon

    Dearest exalted one,
    How do I ascend? I wish to do what you do, but with cats.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Shannon~
      I’ll tell you a secret; all I really do is try to keep a wayward human on track while balancing the rest of the universe. Introducing cats could only make this infinitely more difficult. But that’s just ME. Good luck.
      The exalted one

      Reply
  54. Tim in NJ

    Dear Pearl: I have several grandkids and 2 of them live with my wife and I. They are highly allergic to both dogs and cats (those lower life forms) and I was wondering whether a member of your species or a magic marsupial would be a good pet/companion for a 9 and 11 year old.
    I know your species could teach young humans quite a bit philosophically

    Thank you and your kind

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Tim~
      No.

      Reply
  55. Terezia

    does your omniscience converge unto only the pink vessel Or also the opossums whom she cares for? Your videos are amazing by the way. 🙂

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Spikeythehorse~
      There is no limit to omniscience.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  56. Sam

    Dear Pearl, I am eager to ask what your humans star sign is, would you be able to tell me? I love you

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Sam,
      I love you, too. But as a squirrel, I don’t care what my human’s star sign is and I don’t want you twisting her head with foolish notions. My control of her is shaky enough as it is.
      Pearl the Pragmatic

      Reply
  57. Michael

    Dear Pearl,
    Do you have a valentine? Will you be my valentine? )Valentine’s Day is an earth holiday).
    Love,
    -Michael

    Reply
  58. e

    When will you be announcing your candidacy/run for President of the USA for the 2020 election?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Pretty sure it will be POTUS who runs. He’s an old white male and already has the title. He’s running on UNIVERSAL VETERINARY CARE.

      Reply
  59. Noah

    Hello! I found your YouTube and I’m in love! Your possums are adorable and you’re so informative. I have a question… how can I find happiness in life? I have chronic pain and it’s really hard to deal with. Maybe you have answers?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello dear Noah~
      Pearl cares. First tell ME everything you have tried that doesn’t work and then we can get down to business. Pain has often been the foundation of human brilliance. Witness Frida Kahlo. If it can’t be cured it can be exploited. P.

      Reply
  60. soup

    hello great pearl,
    i am wondering how you reccommend dealing with homosexuality. i do not accept myself yet and i seek guidance from you, benevolent squirrel. how do you suggest i go on with my life?

    thank you dearly
    soup

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello Soup~
      Pretty much the same way you deal with heterosexuality, you get on with doing what makes you happy, doing your best to make sure that no one gets hurt along the way. Pearl knows that you would have no trouble accepting yourself if the opinions of others were not cluttering your mind. Pearl also knows that you are just dandy exactly as you are.

      Reply
  61. N-S-A

    Hi Pearl,

    How can I become as graceful and elegant as your delightfully witty meat puppet? Also, how can I befriend all the black squirrels at the park? No offense to your lovely grayness, but I am fond of the goth squirrels – they aren’t as fast at catching nuts as the gray ones though. Who’d guess that goths aren’t athletic?

    Warm regards,

    N-S-A

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello N-S-A~
      I make do with Georgette because I have to, but you can do better. And I am a FOX squirrel. We hold all the wisdom.
      Making friends with black squirrels is as easy as making friends with any living creature. Food, Food, glorious Food. It’s pathetic how easy living creatures are. Glad to be out of that racket. P.

      Reply
      • N-S-A

        Thank you so much for your kind response Pearl! I didn’t know if there was anything special to be done for the black squirrels, good to know it’s business as usual – I suppose it’s ME that will have to work on athletic prowess, as my nut throwing is clearly not accurate enough yet.

        I’ve purchased one of your fine wares to support the cause and spread awareness. Please give my regards to the possums I’ve known, they were all loved dearly as I tossed them into the back field.

        MWAH!

        N-S-A

        Reply
  62. opossum fren

    Hi, Pearl! Thank you for letting us mortals ask you questions. Alas I have to know; is there something you miss? Is it weird being in a perpetual state of hibernation and speaking through a meat person? I have to know. Google hasn’t been of any help. Thanks.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Since you ask, I miss getting dirty. There is no sensual pleasure that does not have it’s etheric counterpart. But everything is so clean on this side.
      Take my advice; play in dirt and wallow in mud while you can.
      P.

      Reply
  63. Lily

    Hiya there! How are you feeling and doing during these tough times?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello Lily, Everyone here is well. Wishing the same for you and yours. P.

      Reply
  64. Noelle

    I was wondering if you had a collection of possum photos with all of their names and where they are. I need to know if there is actually multiple Apples, if Potato is his real name, if Peach is really and dead, and what Pear looks like now. I am sorry if most of them are dead and if possums only live for a few years, but this is important.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Sadly, no such log exists. There were two Apples, Fuji and Crab. They existed simultaneously and were known as The Apples. Potato, Peach and Pear were all real and have all passed. Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  65. Elgin

    Hello wise and wonderful Pearl, I was wondering if you could give me insight into what the squirrels in my backyard are thinking when they sit up and stare at me for minutes on end. Are they plotting against me? Please help. I love you.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Elgin~
      Do they have reason to plot against you? Why would that even come to mind?
      Suspect they’re just hangin’ with you and what an honor. Mazel Tov!
      Pearl

      Reply
  66. Calvin

    Has pearl seen God? The future state of my mental well-being banks entirely on your answer Pearl. Thank you, Pearl.

    Love,
    Calvin

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Calvin~
      We’ve ALL seen God.
      The Pearl

      Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello Calvin~
      We’ve ALL seen God.
      he Pearl

      Reply
  67. Greer

    Dear Pearl,
    I’m trans and have been out and medically transitioning for several years, but I still haven’t come up with a new name. I’ve gone by my middle name my whole life (Greer) and will not be changing it because I like it, but need a new first name. Any thoughts or ideas? Thank you Pearl and much love.
    -Your pal Greer

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Might you simply be Greer and dispense with a new first name? Why would you need or want one when Greer is so splendid and strong and able to stand alone?
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  68. Bekah

    Hello Pearl, we’ve come for the wisdom, and we’ve gotten so much more. Are you still active? We have to know.
    We shudder in the wake of your greatness.
    Blessings eternal,
    Your biggest fans

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Bekah~
      I’m dead, if that’s what you mean.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  69. Cannelloni Nuts

    Hello MEpearl, did you go to school?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      I chewed through books and scrolls of every kind, filling in the gaps with infallible intuition, until I knew everything.
      It then became my sacred responsibility to teach. Whaddya wanna know?
      The P

      Reply
  70. Samantha

    Oh great spiritual specter from the great beyond. Impart your wisdom upon me, a mere mortal. Great and Powerful Pearl, what is your human companion’s beauty routine? Any tips and tricks to staying gorgeous and glowing?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      In Georgette’s case it helps that she’s not too bright.
      The Pearl that surpasses all understanding

      Reply
  71. Ravina

    Hi Pearl,
    There is a terrible memory from a year ago that still visits me every day. If I can’t get rid of it (as it seems to be the case), how do I learn to live with it? What purpose does this memory serve?

    Thank you for your wisdom,
    Ravina

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Conventional wisdom says “The way out is the way through”. That has not been the experience of Georgette who has a terrible memory from 40 years ago that tries to torture her still. The purpose may be to toughen up and get your priorities straight. Whenever this memory threatens to burst through consciousness Georgette simply but emphatically says “NO. I am done with you. I have important things to attend to”. Do not let the memory back in the door. After a year it is doing you no service whatsoever. Sometimes we immerse ourselves in such things to find a resolution. Sometimes the best resolution is to move on with determination.
      Pearl loves you~

      Reply
  72. Sionainn

    O great wise and powerful Pearl, I want to become a wildlife rehabilitator like Georgette, but I’m sorry to report I do not have the funds to truly make my dream come true. I attempted to marry for money a couple of years ago so I could divorce shortly after and get a house and alimony, but sadly the engagement fell through before I could make that happen. I volunteer at a wildlife center, but I want MORE. What can I do to help animals, in particular wildlife, that I can actually afford, or better yet, get paid to do so I can give you money?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Sionainne~
      As you must know from working at a Wildlife Center, this work relies on donations. Would it were not so. Find your money elsewhere and your fulfillment in caring for these extraordinary creature.
      Thank you for your good work and kind heart. Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  73. Dan

    Hello Pearl, I have found myself feeling very lonely lately and in need of a furry friend. Any advice on which rodents make the best companions?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hey Dan~
      If you are set on a rodent companion and you are on the intelligent side, go RAT.
      If you’re on the simpler side, a hamster would be nice.
      Wild rodents rarely make good companions. We’re always thinking about something else.
      Good luck in your happy search.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  74. Nish Nish

    Dear Pearl,
    I’m an 18 year old with autism and I love opossums more than anything else, but I don’t see very many of them in person. How would you recommend I go about getting more interaction with opossums?
    Nish

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hey Nish~
      More than anything else? Are you familiar with squirrels?
      To interact with wildlife volunteer at a wildlife sanctuary/rehabilitation center.
      Possums need all the friends they can get. Good on you.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  75. Zen Doctor

    Hello Pearl,

    I am considering plastic surgery for a more youthful look.
    What do you think about it?
    Will that hurt my being?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Zen Doctor,
      Have you considered plastic surgery for a more aged look? Given your moniker you may realize that nothing is as it seems.
      Your should-be Inspiration, Pearl

      Reply
  76. Faithful artist

    Dear lovely Pearl, I have always loved creating art or crafting, and is something that has brought me joy for a very long time. Now I have started studying art in college and yet I have many doubts about my “financial stability” as an artist/bard. Some will push me towards what they think is a real job and I can’t help but worry if I’m doing the right thing. I want to create forever and I don’t know if others will accept that. Could you possibly give any advice on feeling good about my creativity and pushing myself forward? Ps. I love you and I hope you are doing well!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Faithful Artist
      HAHAHAHAHA…HOOOO….HEEHEEHEEHEE…”financial stability as an artist/bard” LOL ROGL HAHAHAHAAH!
      Celebrate that you have found your passion. So many people never do. But “financial stability as an artist/bard”?
      Spitting my coconut juice all over the place.
      Pearl Loves You

      Reply
  77. Noelle

    I am hoping for 1 pearl of wisdom in my most desperate hour.

    Baby possum found here (by a friend, not me) in the road with bleeding foot. Mummy found down the road had been hit by a car (poor angel). I had been selected by my friend to heal this possum (I have a house with a yard and I love animals). I cleaned him, the foot healed by the next day and the animal hospital wouldn’t take him nor would animal control. Now its been 3 weeks of this possum who at first was tiny and now has grown to 6 1/2 inches from nose to base of the tail. I want this critter to survive and be happy. I’ve been told twice now he is “too healthy” for further rehab but I am wondering how to “soft release” him as I have heard you have done. He does seem attached to me and I wonder if i have been holding him too much. I have been calling him Bingo. Do you have any suggestions for what may be best for him?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Noelle~
      Six inches is still too small for release. Seven inches is standard. Google best wildlife release sites in your area. Water source is critical. May or may not bear results. Bingo is probably habituated. Never mind hospitals and animal control, find the wildlife rehabilitators in your area and get their advice on your particular situation. Trust you have researched proper possum diet and provided accordingly. Good Luck and thank you for caring.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  78. Cass

    Dear Pearl,

    I have been watching your videos here and there for years, but I just came across one I hadn’t seen before: The Self-Actualized Possum. I was a bit surprised to see that the great Pearl would suggest a joke that ugly boys turn into pretty women. I get that a great deal of the fun in these is observing the oddities of human society, but this is the sort of oddity that sits poorly in the gut. It’s a transphobic kind of sentiment that I would have expected out of a less-wise being, like a peacock or something of that sort. Does a cosmic squirrel-guide not believe that the soul’s destination may require changing the luggage bags along the way? I just don’t know what to think! It pained me terribly and I wish it wasn’t so. I don’t know how to keep watching without feeling like Pearl finds my existence a folly on par with the Rachel Dolezals of the world.

    Wistfully From The Baggage Car,
    Cass

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Cass~
      Your message hurts my heart because your heart has been hurt by something we did. Never would we knowingly denigrate anyone’s genuine struggle toward
      self actualization. In fact we became friends with Jan Morris back in the 70s because we felt so aligned with her ‘Conundrum’. We all experience life through the magnifying filter of our own issues and what we at ME Pearl thought of as casual flip comments wounded you deeply and for this we are profoundly sorry.
      That said, kudos for catching the Rachel Dolezals reference. Don’t think anyone else did. We were mindless in that video. We apologize. Even the grand Goddess of the Universe can make a mistake. Witness the food chain.
      Your friend and supporter~
      Pearl

      Reply
  79. Boo

    Dear Pearl,

    Thank you for bringing me buckets of joy everytime I enter the internet, you make me smile on bad days. I love your channel profoundly, thank you for bringing joy to so many people with possums and squirrels.

    Lots of love,
    Boo

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Back at you, Boo.
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  80. Jackson Davis

    Hello Pearl. Im watching Proper Opossum Psychic Services and Im wondering how Ruth is doing! Best wishes (:

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Beginning to suspect that Ruth is an immortal. Thank you for asking.
      P.

      Reply
  81. Josephine

    do u watch mlp and or clop?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      No. Should we?

      Reply
  82. ILoveSquirrels

    Hello Pearl the Wise and Wonderful,

    I’m coming to you in a bit of a pickle at the moment, I suppose. I’ve just been feeling incredibly unhappy and unmotivated and don’t know what to do. I always feel that when things begin going downhill for me, everything starts turning to shambles like an avalanche that just keeps picking up.

    It’s all a snowball of immense pain from years of bullying, past and current stress that’s led to health issues, constant worry, and sadness. I feel trapped. I can’t bring myself to do the things I love. School is starting for me soon as well, and I’m concerned with how much it’ll add to my stress. And the cherry on top is how alone I feel from years of being ostracized, and just feeling as though no one cares.

    I’m sorry if it all sounds so pitiful (if that’s the right word). My head and heart space are hurting and I just don’t understand if I’m really unlucky or the world is against me.

    Looking for your guidance. Thank you for your time and videos.
    Much love x

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Squirrels love you, too. For what were you bullied and ostracized?
      That is your treasure. That is your center. That is your purpose.
      Pearl Knows

      Reply
  83. Beezle

    Hello, great PEARL.

    I love funny things, faces, places (but never smells!) How might I conjure up humor wherever I am? Is it a timing thing? Do I have to wait for it or can it ALL be funny ALL the time?

    Thank you, ME pearl. Enjoy.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello Beezle~
      It IS all funny all the time, except when it’s heart wrenchingly cruel and intolerable, which means it’s too soon for the joke.
      Timing is everything.
      P.

      Reply
  84. Spencer S

    Hi Pearl!

    My name is Spencer Smither and I’m an independent documentary filmmaker based out of Los Angeles. I absolutely love your work and your passion for animals that both educates and entertains viewers like myself. It would be a pleasure to talk or meet depending on your comfortability about the work you do with your animals and the various elements that bring your online personality to life. Keep creating, hope to talk!

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Spencer Smither, what a wonderful name.
      Thank you for the accolades and appreciation. Sadly we cannot invite you behind the curtain. It would be the end of OZ and Dorothy still needs a new liver.
      The great and powerful Pearl

      Reply
  85. Lillith

    Hello Pearl,
    I’m frankly unsure as to how to address a squirrel of such status, but, very basically, I have a problem that I hope you can offer some advice on.
    2020 has been a strange year for a lot of people, but for me it’s caused another problem, namely that my girlfriend and I have gotten a little out of touch.
    This isn’t totally unprecedented (we don’t get to see each other in person very often, and she lives with her mother, who disapproves of our relationship and sometimes interferes with our ability to communicate by text or email) but I feel like things have been worse lately. Might you have any wisdom to point me in the right direction?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hello Lillith~
      Are you sure that your girlfriend wants to be your girlfriend?
      Let go and see what happens. Let go until something happens that is not directed by you.
      Let go.
      Pearl loves you

      Reply
  86. Jack Danger

    Dear Pearl,

    What’s the best way to deal with negative people?
    I constantly have people telling me that my ideas are dumb. For instance, my best friend just told me, and I quote, “Jack, no one is going to buy dress shoes for horses.”

    What, do people just expect horses to wear the same shoes to every event? That hardly seems practical.

    I am chock full of ideas I’d love to share with the world but I constantly feel like I’m being held back due to unsupportive friends and family.

    What can I do? Thanks for your time.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Jack, That’s a great idea!!! You are just running your ideas by the wrong people. In this case you should get your feed bag, eh, back straight from the horse’s mouth. Go to horse shows, race tracks, horse ranches, pleasure riding spas, the open plains of Montana and discover where your market is. Don’t forget burros and mules. They like to kick up their heels, too. Fancy dancing equines. Love it! Good luck!
      The P

      Reply
  87. natalie newton

    Pearl, why am I so sad all the time. Why does life feel like a constant cycle of waking up, working, going home, cleaning and going to sleep. Im ready to feel something other than this hatred and sadness and anxiety.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      The flashing neon word is hatred. Make a list of what you hate and why. Only what evokes emotion is relevant.
      Then go out and get a dog.
      You’re welcome.
      The P

      Reply
  88. 000

    Divine Pearl,

    Your answers to any mortal and dull questions I may query cannot solve the problems behind them. For that I am truly saddened. I long to know what’s next after my stint on this plane, but as you’ve stated, I surely cannot comprehend it. Is there anything at all you can say, anything that can describe the existence that comes next? Is it existence at all?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Deep truth alert: What comes next depends very much on what you do with what’s here now. Be kind be kind be kind.
      If you continue to posit failure you will surely fail and what comes next will be so much less than it could have been.
      Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  89. LizardLover

    Hello Pearl,

    I love wildlife and have been taking care of injured lizards I find in my back yard for years. I have a new alligator lizard, named Picasso, who has back problems due to an injury. He can not reach his back legs to get shed skin off of his toes. This is bad because shed skin can build up and cut off blood flow, and I don’t want the little guy losing his legs. But he is very aggressive, and I can not come near him to help with shed without him trying to bite my fingers off. What should I do? My mother recommended just letting nature take its course, but I already committed to saving the little guy. Should I just buck up, grab some safety gloves, and make sure all the shed is taken care of, despite his obvious discomfort?

    Love,
    A distressed lizard owner

    P.S. Other than the obvious back injuries, he is quite healthy. He is active, well fed, has a good appetite, and shiny scales.

    Reply
      • LizardLover

        Thank you Pearl,
        I took some pictures of the grumpy lad to send to the hotline. I was worried no one else would care about a very angry garden lizard, but I’m glad to see a hotline for this.
        Love,
        A less distressed lizard owner

        Reply
  90. Katharine McLean

    Hello PEARL!

    I have a question! I love this community you have grown. I am a college student creating a short film for my final thesis. My film is about an opossum and while there are ways to shoot around not having one I would absolutely LOVE being able to have a real opossum to shoot with and film! I am located In Indiana close to Indy/Indianapolis area. Would you happen to know anyone that would be interested in helping my project that is semi close by? I am a huge fan and would love this opportunity!

    Thanks so much,
    Katharine

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Best advice is to contact local wildlife sanctuaries and see what’s available. They may let you film on site.
      State Fish and Wildlife Dept may have a list of small mammal rehabbers close to you. Good Luck.
      Pearl

      Reply
  91. Guy Lancaster

    Dear Ms. Pearl,

    To my eternal regret and shame, I have only recently become aware of your fine website and your most entertaining YouTube channel. I serve as the editor of the Encyclopedia of Arkansas website, and every April Fools’ Day, we post a little fun and fictional piece of Arkansas history. A few years back, we posted an entry on “The Possum,” a poem which Edgar Allan Poe reportedly plagiarized when developing his much more famous “The Raven.” I offer it here to you in recognition of all the joy and delight your videos have brought to me: https://encyclopediaofarkansas.net/entries/12430/

    Sincerely,

    Guy Lancaster, Ph.D.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Dr. Lancaster,
      TOO TOO TOO wonderful! With your permission we’d like to use it in a video and credit you for the discovery.
      Thank you!
      Your Pal Pearl

      Reply
  92. a simple misfit

    dear oh so benevolent pearl,

    tips on how to get through high school? my highest grade is a 40, and I detest everything about it. should I just drop out and live amongst the wildlife in a cold desolate forest?? and dear god (pearl) what happens if I pass senior year? college sounds like a nightmare…

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Why would you want your forest to be cold and desolate? There is a lot of negative nellieism going on.
      Find what you enjoy and do a lot of it until your path becomes clear. Misfits make the best company, Find others.
      Pearl Loves You

      Reply
  93. Nutty McNutface

    Hello Blessed Pearl, all knowing and all powerful. Given that 2020 was quite a difficult year for many of us, can you give us some insight as to how 2021 would look like? Thank you for your answer in advance, I pray to the nut gods every night before bathing myself in nut milk so that my 2021 would be better than the current.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      2021 will be filled with happy surprises where you least expect them. Just say YES!
      Your Pearl

      Reply
  94. EVELYN B.

    Hi Pearl. Please pass this along.
    2020 is trash. The masses need another Opossum Lady video. Please speak to us Opossum Lady. We need your wisdom now more than ever.

    Reply
  95. Edwina Sword

    Greetings My Dearest Pearl,
    I am writing to inquire as to whether the future for me will bring failure or success. Is failure possible in this realm, if so what would it look like for me?
    Thank you for your infinite wisdom,
    Lots of love from your loyal servant Edwina.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Release your fascination with failure. What you focus on will come to pass. Of course the future brings success.
      Cut clean, Edwina. And never pass up a chance to watch a squirrel.
      Your Pearl

      Reply
  96. Sister Wives

    Hello all seeing Pearl. Me (ryab) and a few of my friends (my sister wives) have a question: How do we know what we were before we were reincarnated? Are there any clues we could have to discover our past lives.

    Thank you so much for your time oh wonderful Pearl,

    Liky, Ryab, Tarb, Aidan Gallagher, Laxi, and Bribsi (ryab’s sister wives)

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      When you can approach the question with humility the answers will appear. There are more answers than you currently imagine.
      And more incarnations. Revelations happen on a need-to-know basis.
      The P

      Reply
  97. Aidan Green

    Hello Pearl,
    I’m thinking about marrying my girlfriend and wish for your blessings, seeing as you know this is a religion.

    Are there any special ceremonies we have to take part in to please the all-knowing Pearl?

    Many thanks,
    Aidan xxxxxxx <3

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Yes. You must be kind to all living creatures. The task is great but the pay off is humongous. Love and Approval~
      Pearl

      Reply
  98. Cris

    O Pearl the Wise, for the past 6 years I have come to you bi-yearly to ask for advice and give you updates on my life. I was 17 years old (23 now) when that fateful day arrived, the day you showed me how to embrace pith and become a better speaker. I will never forget that day for as long as I live, truly, thank you again.
    4 years ago you told me to embrace Spaghetti Art, and to be honest I didn’t really understand. “Don’t overthink this” you said, and now all these years later I have finally started my spaghetti art journey! It’s brought me a joy akin to a childlike feeling, very hard to describe but it’s been very relaxing and fun. I would love to send you pictures, how can I do that?
    Much love and Happy Holidays! <3
    Cris

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Cris, Yes, please send ME pictures of your spaghetti art. You can do so as an attachment to Pearl@MEpearl.com
      Mazel Tov! Your P

      Reply
  99. Nicolo

    Hey pearl my girlfriend and I have adopted a baby possum that was found on its own in our neighbors basement. We have been taking care of it for a month now and he seems quite healthy and has grown a lot but still seems nervous and skittish around people. What can we do to make him more comfortable.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      He’d likely be more comfortable in the wild living naturally. Is he healthy and over 7 inches, not including tail?
      Some possums seem meant for captivity while others never get over their need to be free. You may have the latter.
      Find a professional rehabilitator and have him looked over. Possum nutrition is tricky and can lead to physical and emotional discomfort if not followed properly. How ’bout a kitten?
      We love that you care. P

      Reply
  100. bad hair day

    Dearest Pearl,
    What should I do with my bangs? Keep growing them out or cut them back to a blunt fringe?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Are you sure it’s an either/or situation? Why do you wear bangs, anyway? It’s not the best style for your face.
      You’re Welcome, Pearl

      Reply

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