From You 4 ME
Yes it is true – it truly is better to give than to receive!
And in my wisdom and grace I offer to you the perfect opportunity to do just that!
You may give to ME for your own personal joy, for the purpose of atonement, to validate your abundance, because it amuses you; you may give to ME for any reason at all with zero expectation of getting anything in return other than the deep satisfaction of having given freely of yourself!
Plus, you will make Pearl happy !
As you find yourselves inclined, nay, compelled, to begin amassing gifts and money for your dear Pearlie Mae, please feel free to click the button and GIVE GIVE GIVE!
Please know that your contribution will make a major difference in how much Pearl loves you. No donation is tax deductible.
Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice. Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.
Bless you-
Dear Pearl,
I have just sent you $50 and I feel wonderful.
It’s one of those things you have to do before you can understand.
Thank you so much. This is amazing!~
Sincerely,
Sharana
Dear Sharana,
That’s how it works. And it only gets better.
Thank you for your testimony.
Pearl of Opportunity
I wanted to feel the wonderfulness of which Sharana speaks. YES! Now I understand! Warm rush of satisfaction in knowing I am helping to keep the luminous and illuminated Pearl supplied with heavenly nuts. Also, I plan to have plenty of problems for Pearl to comment upon, so this is my down payment. Congratulations, Pearl, on your beautiful emerald website. Love it!
Dear Enlightened Carol,
Pearl loves you best, currently.
Bless you and keep the flow open.
Sacred psychic Pearl is here to receive you and your offerings.
Ommmm ditty ditty Ommmmm
Pearl the Pleased
I hit a squirrel with my car the other day. Do you still love me?
Yes. I will love you even more if you make a nice big atonement donation to ME.
Pearl of Let’s Get Real, here
That’s an excellent idea!
How much would be an acceptable atonement donation? (I don’t even like to think of that way, it’s more like giving from the heart).
You know, Pog.
You know the exact amount it would take to clear up that little shadow on your heart.
Yes.
That’s it right there.
Donate that amount. And breath easy, dear Pog.
Pearl believes in you. Pearl loves you.
Ta~
So tell me Pearl. How much would i have to pay to make your beautiful face fall in love with me Fish. Any amount would be worth paying to see you smile in earnest. You have a smile so warm and bright it could light up a township.
Hello Fish,
It pains my furry little face to think that you may have confused ME, the unsmiling squirrel, with the dorky human or the dumb dumb possum. I, I, I am the brains and beauty behind this operation but have become woefully obscured by these videos of questionable judgment.
We do not actually sell anything, here at ME Pearl. That would be vulgar. We encourage huge donations with no expectation of anything in return except the incomparable rush that accompanies this action. The only way to understand is to do it. So, to be clear, ME, Pearl, am the squirrel, and I already love you. But, yes, a donation would make ME love you more.
Pearl de Wisdom, squirrel de your heart
You are wonderful and so strange.
I’ll bet you are. too, Bruno.
Thank you for writing in.
you are probably getting swamped with new fans today!!! i LOVE you!!! i have a POSSUM MINISTRY. i am a rehabber in new york and i only take in squirrels and possums. my last oppossum lived almost 6 years:) she was out in the summer and i kept her inside in the winter.
Greetings Kristi!
Yes, yes, today and every day. Pearl loves you, too, Kristi. A POSSUM MINISTRY? Well, isn’t that special. Squirrels, too?
Of course Pearl loves all creatures equally but prefers squirrels. Keep up the good work, friend. My east coast unfortunates need a big warm heart like yours.
Pearl the Appreciative
Dear Pearl, I once fed a squirrel regularly, a handful of sunflower seeds every day. He would yell at me if I didn’t feed him on time. Do you yell? HMVincent
Well, yes I do, HMVincent. I yell quite a bit, mostly at pussy cats but there was a sea gull once who really got my dander up. I was sore afraid until I noticed it had webbed feet. Webbed feet are funny.
Your Pal,
Pearl
I am disabled and can’t get a job. What do You think I should do?
Good Day, Butch~
You are talking to a three legged squirrel, here. Plus, I’m dead. Talk about a disability. And yet, I run an empire.
Don’t misunderstand, I love complaining and blaming and making excuses and passing the buck. It’s a real art form that I’ve mastered. But you can’t argue with success. Eye on the prize, my boy.
Take a look at our friend Nick, here.
http://videos.disabled-world.com/video/332/inspirational-nick-vujicic-video-clip
In certain sectors having a disability is a big advantage in getting hired. Or maybe you’d be happier in business for yourself, like ME.
Pearl de Wisdom believes in happiness, Butch. I believe in YOUR happiness. Join ME.
Pearl of Possibilities
Dear pearl
I just stumble across your site after losing my pet squirrel. Therefore I just sent my one and only possum to deliver to you 1mm dollars in opossum dollars. Enjoy.
First off, Duster, ‘pet squirrel’ is an oxymoron. A squirrel my have a pet person when it suits. And it would be devastating for a person to lose a squirrel. Sorry. As for possums, send them anywhere you want but they won’t go. Thanks for the million dollar thought. Next time send a pigeon.
Pearl the Unpunked
Dear Pearl
I love you and your work. Makes me wonder about my life’s work.
Thank you, Dusty.
ME, too.
Do you wish to talk about your life possibilities or simply to share you state of wonderment?
Pearl the Poised (on the verge of Everything)
Hi Pearl, I am a kitten who has grown opposable thumbs just to watch your videos. Keep up the good work!
-Isis
Good Kitty, Isis!
And I see you use a keyboard, too. Smart!
Once you can open your own food the world is your oyster, so to speak.
You can also use your opposeable thumbs to lock your doors from the inside. Just sayin’.
BTW, I know your namesake AND her cat lady friends (you know, Bast and Sekhmet). It’s not always easy being a squirrel in
a feline friendly environment, believe you ME.
On earth I had three legs. I know what it is to labeled a freak.
Couragio petite chat~
Pearl loves you.
Sweet Pearl . . . I have a question and some challenging criticism. Question: How can one not fall into the bottomless pit of everlasting depresseion upon realizing that the most enlightened being they ever encountered is a dead, 3-legged squirrel?
Constructive criticism: Never use the words ‘possum’ and ‘lubrication’ in the same sentence.
Sorry for being so difficult, but that’s my nature.
Hey D but S T,
The most important information for you today;
There is no such thing as a bottomless pit of everlasting depression. So turn that frown upside down and get serious about
spaghetti, cupcakes ping pong and a puppy (of any age).
Also, consider the torus. Let those who have tufted little ears, hear.
Pearl of Positive Plentitude
Sweet Pearl of Generous Positive Plentitude,
Having heard with non-tufted, big ears (long story), I proceeded with faith. At first, when I tried the torus, I wound up just going around in circles within circles, getting nowhere but dizzy . . . and nauseous from the spaghetti and cupcakes that preceded. But then . . ., after a bit of ping pong, the light shone. Your deceased status from your previous, handicaped, rodent-resemblant form is IRRELEVANT! You speak, I hear. Nothing else matters! Now one day I can get a puppy and be happy ever after. Nothing is everlasting, but the happy ever after (and . . . er, I guess everything else that lasts).
My propriety concerns regarding your awkward human’s occassional choice of word juxtapostions remain unresolved, however, but of slight importance from my replenished perspective.
Courage à vous comme bien mon ami! Yes, all cats now speak French.
I am beginning the escape plan and the humans are so far fooled.
Thank you for the wondermous advice!
With love,
Isis
Whoa there Nellie!
Escape plan?
Vous et une nutso petit chat.
The seat of wisdom lies in knowing when you possess the throne.
You reign there, kitty, Stay put and purr.
Your Pal Pearl, Goddess of the Galaxy
Here is a poem for you. Have been rehabbing opossums for 8 years…they are WONDERFUL animals.
Little eyes, big ears, quiet as the night.
Babies riding on my back, holding on tight.
Eating slug, eating snail, looking for some grapes.
Protecting babies with Growls and scary gapes.
Watching the babies grow so big, learning how to hunt.
Playing while they still so young, even Joey the runt.
Now their grown and on their way.
At last a peaceful sleep, during the day.