ASK PEARL
Posted By: Admin on April 6, 2010 in - Comments: 1,010 Comments »
Let ME Explain!
THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl of Wisdom!
* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl of Wisdom is sooo funny!)
Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.
Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.
Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.
Dear Pearl,
what do you think about de’pression? I have been struggling for a few years. nothing seems to help. medication is failing me. I want to be a possum because they have short lives. please help.
sincerely,
sadboi in seattle
I feel ya, bro. Psychic anchors on every limb and a brain filled with porridge and quills. Pearl knows. Pearl cares. Let the fact that you are not a possum be an elfin light on your dreary mindscape. You say medication is failing you, not that it has failed you. Keep trying. Don’t give up before the miracle. Sending you tons of happy woo woo. Pearl loves you. (Fat lotta good that does, right?)
Hi Pearl,
Do you know how to get in contact with Georgette? I’m casting a TV show and we want to talk to her!!
Help! I have an orphaned baby opossum about six inches long (tail not included), how do I train it properly as all the wildlife rehabilitation personnel have turned her down? Sense it is a single very young opossum And I live in a rural area I have adapted to make her a pet as I am a training rehabber myself. But I do not know how to go about training her, please help!
You are not going to ‘train’ her. You are going to provide her with all she needs to be a proper opossum. Hit Google. Ample information to be found there. Pay close attention to dietary needs. Lucky you. Enjoy.
Your Pal Pearl
Dear Pearl,
How are you? What do you expect for the next year? Do you have any plans for christmas?
I hope you have a good time. Your videos bring love and hapiness to my life. Thank you! See you, xx.
Stay tuned to MEpearlA on Youtube for answers to all of your questions. Your Pal P
hi pearl,
i think youre really awesome, and i want to know, what do you think happens when we die? since you are a dead squirrel, and all knowing, i figured you may have some insight to this question!
thank you, blessed be and i love u
Hi Havana~ As you point out, I know exactly what happens when we die. We don’t. Nothing to worry about. Carry on. P de W
hi pearl I recently lost a dear freind/brother/soulmate/rat/loaf and since you are all knowing I was wondering how I can get over this great loss thank you pearl
ps. is this a religion if so I would like to join
You will never get over this great loss. Nor should you. You are forever changed. That’s love for ya. This IS a religion and you’re in, Sam. Welcome.
Pearl loves you.
Greetings,
You are wonderful. Please contact, we wish to have you on our Friday night program! Will you bring the joy of Pearl to FreeSpeechTV? Can the Pearls of Wisdom manifest amongst the punk-right of the internet? We need you. We are not worthy.
Ummmmmmmm no.
Pearl, I think I’ve met my soulmate, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. What are some creative ways to express love?
O graceful leader Pearl, my boyfriend has a really bad haircut and doesn’t know how to get himself fixed. Can you recommend a good haircut for men so I can look at him again? Thank you.
Dear Lauren, There are certain things Pearl just can’t work up any interest in. This is one of them. Good luck. Pearl loves you.
hello pearl! i hope you are having a fine day. i need advice on thriving. how do you thrive? im sorta in a rut. thanks!
Do what you love ….. except for what is illegal, immoral, or just shabby.
You’re welcome. P
this kid keeps breathing on me and is giving me germs! my mother will get sick if he doesnt stop! Pearl please kill him!
Done! But it may take awhile. P.
Hi Pearl. I hope you, Georgette, and the opossums and other squirrels are doing alright. Out of curiosity, are you bookable for events? My best friends and I adore your channel and we have some birthdays coming up and would love to meet you! 🙂
peace and blessings,
the alleys
Dear Alleys, Thank you for your interest. No. Love, Pearl
Hello Pearl,
My family is looking to get another dog (both of ours passed last year, and we feel that it’s finally time for another one). However, we’ve moved into a more rural area and my father wants an outside dog who won’t scare off the opossums we have around the house. He likes to watch them run around the yard at night. Do you have any dog breed suggestions?
Check breeds with a low prey drive. NOT any kind of terrier. Congratulations on a new family member. P.
Dearest Pearl,
I have just started college and seek advice on how to make friends. I am not shy, so approaching others is not the problem, but I am admittedly a bit strange, a bit of an oddball, if you will – in the best way, though (hopefully). How do I form meaningful connections without scaring people off with my sense of humour or having to pretend to be normal?
In earnest and with love,
a friendless friend-seeker
Update: It has been 4 months and I have made 1 and a half friends.
Channeling ME Pearl’s infinite wisdom, may Pearl light so shine on your path: When it comes to friends, focus on quality, not quantity; send positivity to those who send positivity to you and also to those who don’t because only Pearl knows the inner struggle within the hearts of all; trust your gut – it may be Pearl sending you a message you should definitely listen to. love + light + Pearl, Liwi
Hey Pearl, how do you feel about the phrase, “Ok Boomer”? Best regards.
I’m an 11 year old dead squirrel. What do I care?
Pearl loves you.
Greetings and salutations, Pearl. I was wondering, since you are a dead squirrel- can you talk to other dead animals? Other dead humans? Or is your communication only with your human representative. Thank you.
Dead, Living, and Not Yet Born. Sure I CAN talk to them but do I WANT to? Dead creatures tend to procrastinate and that makes them dull.
Why do you ask, Sweet Pea? P
Hello Pearl,
Do you have any insight about how to be as great and perfect as you?
The challenge for humans is growing the luxurious tail. After that everything just falls into place.
Dear Pearl,
I have had a very difficult, traumatic life and just want to transform myself into something good that can change the world like you. How does one become a force for good when life is so hard Pearl?
Dear Chonky Catto~ Your salvation is in your question. Your realization that a difficult traumatic life can propel you into being a force for good is the major obstacle overcome. BRAVA! Now, look to what you have learned that makes life easier and share that. Share your gems of experience. And always look for the funny. That’s the teaspoon of sugar that makes the medicine go down. Pearl loves you.
Dear Pearl,
My coworkers say that I’m wildly obsessed with opossums and that I should seek professional help. They’re often annoyed by me changing the backgrounds on the work computers to photos of them. How can I convince them that opossums are the cute and amazing creatures they are?
Regards,
“The weird opossum guy”
Dear Weird Opossum Guy,
You may need professional help.
Pearl loves you.
Pearl,
As a young man, I found a small, injured possum. I rescued it and nursed it back to health. In an effort to tear down the wall of enmity betwixt man and animal, I named it “Francis”. I chose that name because it was the only name that I knew of, as a seven year old, that worked regardless of the sex of the name. It regained its health and I returned it to the wild, never knowing if it was a boy or girl. Would you be a dear and ask around up there, I’m sure there aren’t many possums named Francis in the great beyond, and let me know if it was a boy or girl? Did it ever marry? Have a family? Eat dog food from a dog’s bowl while the dog slept?
Francis grew into a lovely lady opossum. Friends and family(that would be you) refer to her as Fran. She and innumerable descendants will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. What a joyous reunion that will be.
Yours, Pearl
Hello Pearl!
I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and have been on medication for nearly 5 years. Every once and a while (because I’m super forgetful) I’ll forget to take my meds, and often the day after next is awful. Do you have any tips for getting through bad days when everything feels cold and empty?
Much love from Arizona!
Ps: I hope that you, Georgette, and the other furry friends are doing well. Have a happy holiday season and happy new year!
Dear Anxious in Arizona,
Pearl knows. Georgette has experienced what you describe. In Arizona, no less. Scottsdale and…wait for it….Sedona, one of the seven spiritual centers of the world. Still it felt like slogging through slow moving quicksand. Work through your resistance to the medication (you are not “super-forgetful”). Never underestimate the chemical component. Then find something that you consider more important than yourself and start supporting that, commit to that. Shift the focus away from yourself. Sometimes it’s necessary to do this while consuming a compensatory amount of spaghetti and cake. Pearl is with you 140 %.
What are your thoughts on vaping? Love you squirrel friend
Never think about it. P
Hey Pearl, what are some of the best snacks for squirrels and opossums? Especially opossums. They come around my house every so often and I love the heck out of those cute little marsupials and want to sho them some love
Dear Dion, Grapes, shelled walnuts, almonds, apple, blueberries, strawberries, pumpkin, endive, persimmon, lightly steamed broccoli, carrots, …this works for both and the variety is healthier. Squirrels will prefer only nuts but don’t give in. Possums have a sweet tooth and will eat most anything but don’t give in. Think produce. Avocados are a big hit…in moderation. Good question!
Your Pal Pearl
Will Harry and Meghan make it?
How much money makes Pearl happy? I am ready and waiting to give to you so that I can feel great!
As much as I can get without making anyone else UNhappy. You be the judge.
Your Pal Pearl
How much ya got?
Dear Pearl. On behalf of the community house Possum Splendor, we humbly invite you and all your opossum friends to come over for an evening of yummy treats and warm drinks. We have some opossum friends here also, as well as raccoons that live in the top-top room( aka the 4th floor). We want to thank you for spreading the TRUTH and BEAUTY of OPPOSSUM! We also have a guest room available if you wish to stay for an extended period of time and shoot your Opossum videos. This could be a lovely Opossumability for all of us.
Dear Pearl,
Does my girlfriend really love me?
No
Hi, Pearl.
I’m at an impasse in life. I am unsure how to continue on and whether or not to stay my current track or make a big change. What are your thoughts?
Get down and jive.
Hello pearl of the seas, o gracious one. I have crippling anxiety when ordering food in front of druids. What should I do? Also what squirrel is best for me? Thank you!
Scotty, your faithful one
Stop ordering food in front of Druids. What squirrel do you think is best for you? HELLO. P.
Hello hope this finds you well. I live in a city and want to make a safe place for the opossum. Do you have any advice on care or helping them survive?
Individually or collectively? Leaving them alone is usually the best way to help them survive.P.
Who is your favourite opossum celebrity? There are so many good potential answers.
Kind Regards,
Someone
Plum
Soy Holy Pearl , how can I achieve oneness with the great BB? Thanks
Dear Pearl
I was wondering if I could make a couple of possum illustrations based on your youtube videos.
I would be making these for my college class of illustration!
I’ve recently been really loving all the possum content out there!
One more question, what would a possum’s favourite tea flavour be?
Lot’s of love from Belgium,
Ann-Sofie, a big fan of possums
Dear Ann-Sophie~
Illustrate away! ‘Morning Thunder’ but it messes with the image. Go with ‘Hibiscus’.
Lots of love to Belgium~
P
Dearest Pearl,
My grandmother died almost 8 years ago when I was a younger teen and I never had the chance to say goodbye to her before she died. In the years after her death, I have struggled and been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety and learned about a family history of these afflictions which included my grandmother. I remember that when I was a child, she would often spend a lot of time in her bed alone, even when the whole family was at her house. My mom would always make us go upstairs to say hi to her before we went off to play and sometimes I would complain about having to go up and spend time with her instead of playing. Now that I am older and I understand why she spent so much time in her room alone, I feel immense guilt for not spending for time with her and viewing it as almost a chore since I know she loved having our company and that it probably helped her feel less sad and alone. Pearl, what should I do? I wishI could make up for the time I didn’t spend with her when she was alive.
Since you’re the only dead (and psychic) squirrel I know, I figured you would be a good person to ask.
From Russia with love,
a dragon
Dear dragon,
It WAS a chore for you to upstairs to her, just as it would have been a chore for her to go downstairs to you. You were both doing the best you could. She feels guilty for not being the grandmother you needed and wants you to forgive her. You can do that, right?
Pearl loves you
Why Are There Acorns in My Garage?
O.K., I’ll bite. Why are there acorns in your garage?
Hello beloved pearl, I am under a lot of stress due to school and I was wondering how do you deal with your stress?
I eradicate the causes but then I’m Pearl and you are not. Drugs can be good. Find another school. Get a long haired kitten. That’s probably the best.
Your Pal Pearl
Hey Pearl, I was just wondering, what’s your favorite food?
Walnuts, persimmon, avocado, and spaghetti.
Endive, pumpkin, sugar snap peas.
If I happened to lose my beloved o-possum down the back of my fridge on a cold and rainy Wednesday night as I prepared such a scrumptious meal of greens for such a graceful specimen that an o-possum is, what would you recommend doing to get him out from behind the fridge? Obviously this hadn’t happened to me, of course, but in case such a thing did happen to me and my o-possum, what would you do to lure out the o-possum from behind the fridge?
Liver or mackerel in a have a heart trap.
Hi pearl. How do you keep yourself motivated? Sometimes I feel like I have no direction in life. No passions. If I don’t know what I aspire to be, how do I keep the wheels that move me forwards turning?
Hi Ethan~
Squeaky wheels get the grease. Ask for what you need and want. Get loud, if need be, even though it is not your nature. I stay motivated because I have a service to perform and lessons to teach and promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Aspire to be of service, Ethan. Opportunities abound. Plus it’s fun and feels good. Pearl loves you~
You seem to be knowledgeable about possums yet your calendar shows a squirrel. Is this a hoax, or does it have a hidden meaning? That is really my question about everything.
See the video ‘ME Pearl Explained’. And, yes, there is a hidden meaning, always. Your Pal Pearl
Hello pearl. I love possums so much and have always wanted a pet possum. Or to at least hold one. I live in the suburbs of Chicago and do not know where I can find one to hold. Do you have any ideas of how I can hold a possum? If so please email me back. Thank you for your website and YouTube channel and give all your possums big hugs for me!!
-Mary 🙂
Find the closest wildlife center/sanctuary and volunteer. It’s a life changer. P
Dear Pearl,
My aunt recently passed and I feel rather hollow. I really want to know if she’s doing okay wherever she is now and if she’s proud of me and her daughter.
Dear Angel~
Your Aunt is doing just fine and she’s very proud of you. Her daughter, on the other paw, needs some work and everyone in the family knows that.
Love, Pearl
Greetings Pearl. Your work is fantastic and I’m lucky to have found it. Whats your skincare routine to keep that dead squirrel pelt so radiating?
My skin and hair grew in luminosity after death sort of like a vampire but without all the creepy elements.
Now it’s just a spritz of spring water, positive thoughts and an indomitable will for perfection. Thank you for noticing.
Bet you’re pretty, too. P.
Hello Pearl, I would love to know if Georgette Spelvin is a wildlife rehabilitator. Did she rehabilitate you?
Yes. Georgette became a wildlife rehabilitator in order to take care of ME. I taught her everything she knows and am still working on it. Thank you for asking. The Eternal Pearl
Hi pearl! I just love all the work you do. I’m having trouble in my love life, I’m wondering how I can start accepting love from others and myself❤️
Dear Pearl,
First, the squirrels of Lake Ola say hi (I think): “huh huh huh huh huh ahk! ahk!”
The universe has been blessing me the past few months. I feel lucky, but don’t want to waste it on something selfish like a lotto ticket. My question is, what is the best way to share my luck?
Oh, and the squirrels here don’t need luck. I already give them the big nuts in the bird seed.
Cheers,
Jim
Just what you are doing, Jim. Talk about your good fortune. Remind the disenchanted ‘luck’ exists and shows up when least expected. Squirrels are cheer leaders and comforters. Whenever squirrels are around conditions are ripe for a miracle. P.
Where did all the ancient civilizAtions go?
Excellent question, Dominic. They didn’t actually GO anywhere. They are all around us waiting for a comeback. Yes, I know. Pearl
Dear Pearl the omniscient,
May I start off by saying what a shining coat you had in life and how your transcendence has smattered it in celestial stars!I adore what you do for your adoring following.
My question is, do you mind telling your human meat puppet what a good job she is doing and what a magnificent person she is? I am sure she doesn’t need to know this and probably has a terrific grasp on it already, but regardless, we all need praise, and she is well deserving.
Thank you for your divine blessings.
Through nuts and claws, yours truly,
~Scorni
Hi Pearl,
You are an inspiration to the world. I hope you and the apostles are doing well.
Audrey
O Beloved Pearl,
I live in an area populated with many other squirrels, which are obviously inferior to You. However, I would still like to be friends with them. So, my question is, how do you think I can become friends with a regular, non-psychic squirrel?
Thank you, O Magnificent Benevolence!
Walnuts. But watch your thumb which can be mistaken for one. Update your tetanus shot and welcome to the love of squirrels. Pearl is happy.
Pearl!
Here’s what’s in my heart—-
I LOVE YOU PEARL! YOU ARE SIMPLY THE BEST!
I am also a small mammal rehab volunteer and social media manager. I tend to gravitate towards Racoons however. Do you think I am more suited to the fostering of Oppossums? What does Pearl see?
love you love you love you dear spirit! You make this world soooooooo much better!
Phyllosaurus
Canada
Dear Phyllosaurus~
Go where you gravitate but many small mammal rehabbers do both and several more. Learn everything you can. We also love the masked opossum, what you call raccoon.
Thank you for the kind sentiments. Your Pal Pearl
Dear Pearl. In the last 18 days i’ve lost 4 people whom i’ve loved to the next life. Brandt and Katie were murdered who knows why. Kims habits finally caught up with here leaving 2 children behind. Worst of all Sarahs son (minor no names here but you know) was killed on his bike by a driver not paying attention. Its been hell but will you look after all 4 of them for me? I know its alot but I’d really appriciate it.
Of course.
Hi Pearl,
I just found your videos and I love them, you are so calming and wise.
My question is, im gay in a homophobic family, how do I come out?
Thank you so much,
Love you!
Dear Boo
Your mom already knows. She knew before you did. Hope this helps a little.
Pearl Loves You
What does “a sober possum is a social asset” really mean? I would love to know.
Just a simple unassailable truth.
Dearest exalted one,
How do I ascend? I wish to do what you do, but with cats.
Hi Shannon~
I’ll tell you a secret; all I really do is try to keep a wayward human on track while balancing the rest of the universe. Introducing cats could only make this infinitely more difficult. But that’s just ME. Good luck.
The exalted one
Dear Pearl: I have several grandkids and 2 of them live with my wife and I. They are highly allergic to both dogs and cats (those lower life forms) and I was wondering whether a member of your species or a magic marsupial would be a good pet/companion for a 9 and 11 year old.
I know your species could teach young humans quite a bit philosophically
Thank you and your kind
Hi Tim~
No.
does your omniscience converge unto only the pink vessel Or also the opossums whom she cares for? Your videos are amazing by the way. 🙂
Dear Spikeythehorse~
There is no limit to omniscience.
Your Pal Pearl
Dear Pearl, I am eager to ask what your humans star sign is, would you be able to tell me? I love you
Dear Sam,
I love you, too. But as a squirrel, I don’t care what my human’s star sign is and I don’t want you twisting her head with foolish notions. My control of her is shaky enough as it is.
Pearl the Pragmatic
Dear Pearl,
Do you have a valentine? Will you be my valentine? )Valentine’s Day is an earth holiday).
Love,
-Michael
When will you be announcing your candidacy/run for President of the USA for the 2020 election?
Pretty sure it will be POTUS who runs. He’s an old white male and already has the title. He’s running on UNIVERSAL VETERINARY CARE.
Hello! I found your YouTube and I’m in love! Your possums are adorable and you’re so informative. I have a question… how can I find happiness in life? I have chronic pain and it’s really hard to deal with. Maybe you have answers?
Hello dear Noah~
Pearl cares. First tell ME everything you have tried that doesn’t work and then we can get down to business. Pain has often been the foundation of human brilliance. Witness Frida Kahlo. If it can’t be cured it can be exploited. P.
hello great pearl,
i am wondering how you reccommend dealing with homosexuality. i do not accept myself yet and i seek guidance from you, benevolent squirrel. how do you suggest i go on with my life?
thank you dearly
soup
Hello Soup~
Pretty much the same way you deal with heterosexuality, you get on with doing what makes you happy, doing your best to make sure that no one gets hurt along the way. Pearl knows that you would have no trouble accepting yourself if the opinions of others were not cluttering your mind. Pearl also knows that you are just dandy exactly as you are.
Hi Pearl,
How can I become as graceful and elegant as your delightfully witty meat puppet? Also, how can I befriend all the black squirrels at the park? No offense to your lovely grayness, but I am fond of the goth squirrels – they aren’t as fast at catching nuts as the gray ones though. Who’d guess that goths aren’t athletic?
Warm regards,
N-S-A
Hello N-S-A~
I make do with Georgette because I have to, but you can do better. And I am a FOX squirrel. We hold all the wisdom.
Making friends with black squirrels is as easy as making friends with any living creature. Food, Food, glorious Food. It’s pathetic how easy living creatures are. Glad to be out of that racket. P.
Thank you so much for your kind response Pearl! I didn’t know if there was anything special to be done for the black squirrels, good to know it’s business as usual – I suppose it’s ME that will have to work on athletic prowess, as my nut throwing is clearly not accurate enough yet.
I’ve purchased one of your fine wares to support the cause and spread awareness. Please give my regards to the possums I’ve known, they were all loved dearly as I tossed them into the back field.
MWAH!
N-S-A
Hi, Pearl! Thank you for letting us mortals ask you questions. Alas I have to know; is there something you miss? Is it weird being in a perpetual state of hibernation and speaking through a meat person? I have to know. Google hasn’t been of any help. Thanks.
Since you ask, I miss getting dirty. There is no sensual pleasure that does not have it’s etheric counterpart. But everything is so clean on this side.
Take my advice; play in dirt and wallow in mud while you can.
P.
Hiya there! How are you feeling and doing during these tough times?
Hello Lily, Everyone here is well. Wishing the same for you and yours. P.
I was wondering if you had a collection of possum photos with all of their names and where they are. I need to know if there is actually multiple Apples, if Potato is his real name, if Peach is really and dead, and what Pear looks like now. I am sorry if most of them are dead and if possums only live for a few years, but this is important.
Sadly, no such log exists. There were two Apples, Fuji and Crab. They existed simultaneously and were known as The Apples. Potato, Peach and Pear were all real and have all passed. Your Pal Pearl
Hello wise and wonderful Pearl, I was wondering if you could give me insight into what the squirrels in my backyard are thinking when they sit up and stare at me for minutes on end. Are they plotting against me? Please help. I love you.
Hi Elgin~
Do they have reason to plot against you? Why would that even come to mind?
Suspect they’re just hangin’ with you and what an honor. Mazel Tov!
Pearl
Has pearl seen God? The future state of my mental well-being banks entirely on your answer Pearl. Thank you, Pearl.
Love,
Calvin
Calvin~
We’ve ALL seen God.
The Pearl
Hello Calvin~
We’ve ALL seen God.
he Pearl
Dear Pearl,
I’m trans and have been out and medically transitioning for several years, but I still haven’t come up with a new name. I’ve gone by my middle name my whole life (Greer) and will not be changing it because I like it, but need a new first name. Any thoughts or ideas? Thank you Pearl and much love.
-Your pal Greer
Might you simply be Greer and dispense with a new first name? Why would you need or want one when Greer is so splendid and strong and able to stand alone?
Your Pal Pearl
Hello Pearl, we’ve come for the wisdom, and we’ve gotten so much more. Are you still active? We have to know.
We shudder in the wake of your greatness.
Blessings eternal,
Your biggest fans
Hi Bekah~
I’m dead, if that’s what you mean.
Your Pal Pearl
Hello MEpearl, did you go to school?
I chewed through books and scrolls of every kind, filling in the gaps with infallible intuition, until I knew everything.
It then became my sacred responsibility to teach. Whaddya wanna know?
The P
Oh great spiritual specter from the great beyond. Impart your wisdom upon me, a mere mortal. Great and Powerful Pearl, what is your human companion’s beauty routine? Any tips and tricks to staying gorgeous and glowing?
In Georgette’s case it helps that she’s not too bright.
The Pearl that surpasses all understanding
Hi Pearl,
There is a terrible memory from a year ago that still visits me every day. If I can’t get rid of it (as it seems to be the case), how do I learn to live with it? What purpose does this memory serve?
Thank you for your wisdom,
Ravina
Conventional wisdom says “The way out is the way through”. That has not been the experience of Georgette who has a terrible memory from 40 years ago that tries to torture her still. The purpose may be to toughen up and get your priorities straight. Whenever this memory threatens to burst through consciousness Georgette simply but emphatically says “NO. I am done with you. I have important things to attend to”. Do not let the memory back in the door. After a year it is doing you no service whatsoever. Sometimes we immerse ourselves in such things to find a resolution. Sometimes the best resolution is to move on with determination.
Pearl loves you~
O great wise and powerful Pearl, I want to become a wildlife rehabilitator like Georgette, but I’m sorry to report I do not have the funds to truly make my dream come true. I attempted to marry for money a couple of years ago so I could divorce shortly after and get a house and alimony, but sadly the engagement fell through before I could make that happen. I volunteer at a wildlife center, but I want MORE. What can I do to help animals, in particular wildlife, that I can actually afford, or better yet, get paid to do so I can give you money?
Dear Sionainne~
As you must know from working at a Wildlife Center, this work relies on donations. Would it were not so. Find your money elsewhere and your fulfillment in caring for these extraordinary creature.
Thank you for your good work and kind heart. Your Pal Pearl
Hello Pearl, I have found myself feeling very lonely lately and in need of a furry friend. Any advice on which rodents make the best companions?
Hey Dan~
If you are set on a rodent companion and you are on the intelligent side, go RAT.
If you’re on the simpler side, a hamster would be nice.
Wild rodents rarely make good companions. We’re always thinking about something else.
Good luck in your happy search.
Your Pal Pearl
Dear Pearl,
I’m an 18 year old with autism and I love opossums more than anything else, but I don’t see very many of them in person. How would you recommend I go about getting more interaction with opossums?
Nish
Hey Nish~
More than anything else? Are you familiar with squirrels?
To interact with wildlife volunteer at a wildlife sanctuary/rehabilitation center.
Possums need all the friends they can get. Good on you.
Your Pal Pearl
Hello Pearl,
I am considering plastic surgery for a more youthful look.
What do you think about it?
Will that hurt my being?
Dear Zen Doctor,
Have you considered plastic surgery for a more aged look? Given your moniker you may realize that nothing is as it seems.
Your should-be Inspiration, Pearl
Dear lovely Pearl, I have always loved creating art or crafting, and is something that has brought me joy for a very long time. Now I have started studying art in college and yet I have many doubts about my “financial stability” as an artist/bard. Some will push me towards what they think is a real job and I can’t help but worry if I’m doing the right thing. I want to create forever and I don’t know if others will accept that. Could you possibly give any advice on feeling good about my creativity and pushing myself forward? Ps. I love you and I hope you are doing well!
Dear Faithful Artist
HAHAHAHAHA…HOOOO….HEEHEEHEEHEE…”financial stability as an artist/bard” LOL ROGL HAHAHAHAAH!
Celebrate that you have found your passion. So many people never do. But “financial stability as an artist/bard”?
Spitting my coconut juice all over the place.
Pearl Loves You
I am hoping for 1 pearl of wisdom in my most desperate hour.
Baby possum found here (by a friend, not me) in the road with bleeding foot. Mummy found down the road had been hit by a car (poor angel). I had been selected by my friend to heal this possum (I have a house with a yard and I love animals). I cleaned him, the foot healed by the next day and the animal hospital wouldn’t take him nor would animal control. Now its been 3 weeks of this possum who at first was tiny and now has grown to 6 1/2 inches from nose to base of the tail. I want this critter to survive and be happy. I’ve been told twice now he is “too healthy” for further rehab but I am wondering how to “soft release” him as I have heard you have done. He does seem attached to me and I wonder if i have been holding him too much. I have been calling him Bingo. Do you have any suggestions for what may be best for him?
Dear Noelle~
Six inches is still too small for release. Seven inches is standard. Google best wildlife release sites in your area. Water source is critical. May or may not bear results. Bingo is probably habituated. Never mind hospitals and animal control, find the wildlife rehabilitators in your area and get their advice on your particular situation. Trust you have researched proper possum diet and provided accordingly. Good Luck and thank you for caring.
Your Pal Pearl
Dear Pearl,
I have been watching your videos here and there for years, but I just came across one I hadn’t seen before: The Self-Actualized Possum. I was a bit surprised to see that the great Pearl would suggest a joke that ugly boys turn into pretty women. I get that a great deal of the fun in these is observing the oddities of human society, but this is the sort of oddity that sits poorly in the gut. It’s a transphobic kind of sentiment that I would have expected out of a less-wise being, like a peacock or something of that sort. Does a cosmic squirrel-guide not believe that the soul’s destination may require changing the luggage bags along the way? I just don’t know what to think! It pained me terribly and I wish it wasn’t so. I don’t know how to keep watching without feeling like Pearl finds my existence a folly on par with the Rachel Dolezals of the world.
Wistfully From The Baggage Car,
Cass
Dear Cass~
Your message hurts my heart because your heart has been hurt by something we did. Never would we knowingly denigrate anyone’s genuine struggle toward
self actualization. In fact we became friends with Jan Morris back in the 70s because we felt so aligned with her ‘Conundrum’. We all experience life through the magnifying filter of our own issues and what we at ME Pearl thought of as casual flip comments wounded you deeply and for this we are profoundly sorry.
That said, kudos for catching the Rachel Dolezals reference. Don’t think anyone else did. We were mindless in that video. We apologize. Even the grand Goddess of the Universe can make a mistake. Witness the food chain.
Your friend and supporter~
Pearl
Dear Pearl,
Thank you for bringing me buckets of joy everytime I enter the internet, you make me smile on bad days. I love your channel profoundly, thank you for bringing joy to so many people with possums and squirrels.
Lots of love,
Boo
Back at you, Boo.
Your Pal Pearl
Hello Pearl. Im watching Proper Opossum Psychic Services and Im wondering how Ruth is doing! Best wishes (:
Beginning to suspect that Ruth is an immortal. Thank you for asking.
P.
do u watch mlp and or clop?
No. Should we?
Hello Pearl the Wise and Wonderful,
I’m coming to you in a bit of a pickle at the moment, I suppose. I’ve just been feeling incredibly unhappy and unmotivated and don’t know what to do. I always feel that when things begin going downhill for me, everything starts turning to shambles like an avalanche that just keeps picking up.
It’s all a snowball of immense pain from years of bullying, past and current stress that’s led to health issues, constant worry, and sadness. I feel trapped. I can’t bring myself to do the things I love. School is starting for me soon as well, and I’m concerned with how much it’ll add to my stress. And the cherry on top is how alone I feel from years of being ostracized, and just feeling as though no one cares.
I’m sorry if it all sounds so pitiful (if that’s the right word). My head and heart space are hurting and I just don’t understand if I’m really unlucky or the world is against me.
Looking for your guidance. Thank you for your time and videos.
Much love x
Squirrels love you, too. For what were you bullied and ostracized?
That is your treasure. That is your center. That is your purpose.
Pearl Knows
Hello, great PEARL.
I love funny things, faces, places (but never smells!) How might I conjure up humor wherever I am? Is it a timing thing? Do I have to wait for it or can it ALL be funny ALL the time?
Thank you, ME pearl. Enjoy.
Hello Beezle~
It IS all funny all the time, except when it’s heart wrenchingly cruel and intolerable, which means it’s too soon for the joke.
Timing is everything.
P.
Hi Pearl!
My name is Spencer Smither and I’m an independent documentary filmmaker based out of Los Angeles. I absolutely love your work and your passion for animals that both educates and entertains viewers like myself. It would be a pleasure to talk or meet depending on your comfortability about the work you do with your animals and the various elements that bring your online personality to life. Keep creating, hope to talk!
Spencer Smither, what a wonderful name.
Thank you for the accolades and appreciation. Sadly we cannot invite you behind the curtain. It would be the end of OZ and Dorothy still needs a new liver.
The great and powerful Pearl
Hello Pearl,
I’m frankly unsure as to how to address a squirrel of such status, but, very basically, I have a problem that I hope you can offer some advice on.
2020 has been a strange year for a lot of people, but for me it’s caused another problem, namely that my girlfriend and I have gotten a little out of touch.
This isn’t totally unprecedented (we don’t get to see each other in person very often, and she lives with her mother, who disapproves of our relationship and sometimes interferes with our ability to communicate by text or email) but I feel like things have been worse lately. Might you have any wisdom to point me in the right direction?
Hello Lillith~
Are you sure that your girlfriend wants to be your girlfriend?
Let go and see what happens. Let go until something happens that is not directed by you.
Let go.
Pearl loves you
Dear Pearl,
What’s the best way to deal with negative people?
I constantly have people telling me that my ideas are dumb. For instance, my best friend just told me, and I quote, “Jack, no one is going to buy dress shoes for horses.”
What, do people just expect horses to wear the same shoes to every event? That hardly seems practical.
I am chock full of ideas I’d love to share with the world but I constantly feel like I’m being held back due to unsupportive friends and family.
What can I do? Thanks for your time.
Jack, That’s a great idea!!! You are just running your ideas by the wrong people. In this case you should get your feed bag, eh, back straight from the horse’s mouth. Go to horse shows, race tracks, horse ranches, pleasure riding spas, the open plains of Montana and discover where your market is. Don’t forget burros and mules. They like to kick up their heels, too. Fancy dancing equines. Love it! Good luck!
The P
Pearl, why am I so sad all the time. Why does life feel like a constant cycle of waking up, working, going home, cleaning and going to sleep. Im ready to feel something other than this hatred and sadness and anxiety.
The flashing neon word is hatred. Make a list of what you hate and why. Only what evokes emotion is relevant.
Then go out and get a dog.
You’re welcome.
The P
Divine Pearl,
Your answers to any mortal and dull questions I may query cannot solve the problems behind them. For that I am truly saddened. I long to know what’s next after my stint on this plane, but as you’ve stated, I surely cannot comprehend it. Is there anything at all you can say, anything that can describe the existence that comes next? Is it existence at all?
Deep truth alert: What comes next depends very much on what you do with what’s here now. Be kind be kind be kind.
If you continue to posit failure you will surely fail and what comes next will be so much less than it could have been.
Pearl loves you.
Hello Pearl,
I love wildlife and have been taking care of injured lizards I find in my back yard for years. I have a new alligator lizard, named Picasso, who has back problems due to an injury. He can not reach his back legs to get shed skin off of his toes. This is bad because shed skin can build up and cut off blood flow, and I don’t want the little guy losing his legs. But he is very aggressive, and I can not come near him to help with shed without him trying to bite my fingers off. What should I do? My mother recommended just letting nature take its course, but I already committed to saving the little guy. Should I just buck up, grab some safety gloves, and make sure all the shed is taken care of, despite his obvious discomfort?
Love,
A distressed lizard owner
P.S. Other than the obvious back injuries, he is quite healthy. He is active, well fed, has a good appetite, and shiny scales.
We recommend contacting the Herpetology Hotline: https://ssarherps.org/all-about-herps/herpetology-hotline/
Don’t improvise. Ask an expert. Good Luck.
Pearl