ASK PEARL

by | Apr 6, 2010 | 1,071 comments

Let me squirrelsplain this to you…

 

THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl of Wisdom!

* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl of Wisdom is sooo funny!)

Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.

Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.

Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.

1,071 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Hi Pearl, I’m not feeling to well and my shoulders ache a lot. Do you have any remedies? For shoulders pain?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Drop the rock. Seriously. Think about it.
      Love, Pearl

      Reply
  2. Avatar

    There is a female possum in my yard w/ bloody wounds on her neck. Is this normal from mating or is she injured?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Rule of thumb; blood should be on the inside. The appropriate places to contact are Wildlife Rehabilitation Centers, Veterinarians, Animal Shelter.
      Facebook has opossum rescue and research groups. Go online.Post pictures to them. This site is primarily for entertainment purposes. What you describe could well be a serious medical situation. Thank you for caring. You have more work to do. Don’t delay.
      Pearl Loves You.

      Reply
  3. Avatar

    Soooo is there a Facebook page for MEPEARLA? Or only a YouTube channel? LOVE THE VIDEOS! AMAZING!!❤️

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Thank you for asking.There is a ME Pearl Facebook page but only for creatures who knew ME when I wore flesh and fur. Otherwise I love and laugh through Youtube and this site. Glad you found ME Here.
      Thank you for your kind words.
      Your Pal, Pearl

      Reply
  4. Avatar

    I have a Possum who keeps taking off with my arlo camera. I used to think it was because it is the size of an egg & white. I covered it with a black cover. Possum still took it. It leaves it under my deck (where he shelters). Any idea why he carries off the camera? I can message or email u video if u would like to see the “theif” in action.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hmmm, what could be the motivation for dismantling a home security system? Hmmm.
      Evidently your boy wants privacy. P.

      Reply
  5. Avatar

    Hi Pearl.
    I have a really good squirrel friend named Betty. Maybe you know her? Technically I think she does by “Betty, Queen of the South.”

    Anyway, Pearl, I’m being scanned tomorrow for suspected lymphoma. Have a lot of the symptoms, but I’m younger than the average diagnosis. What do ya think?
    Maybe my body just sucks in a totally non cancerous way.
    Betty won’t answer.

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Melt~
      Your body does NOT suck. It provides and it teaches. We’ve all heard ‘your body is your temple’ but it’s also your best friend and ally. YOUR best friend and ally.
      The WORST thing you can do is set up an adversarial relationship with your body. Stop that NOW. Mutual support. Mutual support. Think about that. ‘Betty, Queen of the South’ doesn’t doubt her body. She takes full advantage of the joys it affords her. (Nothing compares with the happiness of a squirrel. But I digress.) If and when the body changes, the spirit adapts but you always work in tandem. Couragio! Pearl and Betty love you.

      Reply
      • Avatar

        Thank you, Pearl. I do take your point and I’m doing what I can to remain positive. No scans yet, because my insurance has decided to be difficult! I’m pretty certain Betty predicted that one.

        In any case, I’m trying to distract myself and I liked the cut of your jib, so I doodled a thing in your honor instead of doing the other things I’m obviously meant to be doing. Please enjoy,

        Melt

        https://postimg.cc/svLGY4jQ

        Reply
        • MEpearl

          Love it! Thanks. Encouraging others to check it out.
          Blessings,
          Pearl

          Reply
  6. Avatar

    Are you god incarnate Pearl? Is Georgette only but your puppet to spread your wisdom?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Fine question, Devin~
      First, Goddess includes God. The reverse is not true. So, as the all encompassing deity I would rightfully be considered Goddess (of the Universe). As for ‘incarnate’, the too too solid flesh melted away decades
      ago. Being dead has only increased my power and lovability factor.
      Georgette who? Oh, yeah, right. Umm, sure.
      Blessings,
      Pearl

      Reply
      • Avatar

        I am sorry goddess, I accidentally typed god instead of using the correctly gendered term. Please don’t smite me, your humble follower. On another note, a question upon a question, because you are infinitely powerful can you grant wishes? I would wish for the funding to build a giant church with a large statue of your likeness. ME Pearl deserves the recognition of the world, and more followers than Jesus himself.

        Reply
        • MEpearl

          Hey Devin~
          I don’t grant wishes because people then tend to change their mind. You know the old adage about only wanting what you can’t have.
          The church and giant likeness to which you refer already exists. It’s not a competition. Jesus and I are tight. Have you seen the painting ‘Jesus and the Twelve Opossums? Google it. We provided the opossums. Actually we lent Him two but Jesus being Jesus…..
          But we really like your thinking. Carry on. The P

          Reply
  7. Avatar

    my friend elle wants to know if the pretty lady is single she says she’s a gilf 🙂

    Reply
  8. Avatar

    Hey What political views do possums have if any? What are their thoughts on Bidens dog?

    Bless be

    Amen

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Possums are anarchists who disdain dogs of any stripe. That said, Biden’s dogs appear healthy and well cared for.
      An old dog will never look like a youngster nor should they. That said, Down with Dogs!
      The Pearl

      Reply
  9. Avatar

    Hi Pearl,

    I baked a loaf of banana bread in your name and came to ask for your blessing. It turned out very well so I hope you enjoy it. Also I was asked to let you know that you’re officially revered as part of the Discordian pantheon in the newly established position of Guardian Goddess of Wildlife. We were running out of place so we had to force some minor deity into retirement to make place for you.

    Worshipfully yours,
    Lulu

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Thanks, Lulu, but Goddess of the Multiverse is the only title I need.
      Blessings~
      Pearl

      Reply
  10. Avatar

    What food does a possum enjoy the most?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      That’s like asking ‘What food does a person enjoy the most?’ Both are omnivores with eclectic tastes.
      Nuts and grapes are pretty popular. Grubs are a delicacy.

      Reply
  11. Avatar

    Deer Pearl,

    Do you know when Covid-19 will end?

    Sincerely ,Charlene,

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Yes

      Reply
  12. Avatar

    Dear Pearl,

    I am an undergraduate Anthropology & Religious Studies major and I focus on spirit mediums in my research. I study a bit of media studies too. The school I go to requires me to do fieldwork terms which are just experiential learning outside of the classroom. I’m trying to find out what I will do for this summer. My friend just showed me your website and channel and I’m extremely interested in learning more about you and your medium and possibly doing some ethnographic research under you guys. Ethnographic in that I could come to you as fieldwork, or if not maybe we could do research over zoom if that works better for you guys. If you are interested, I will try to apply for grants and all so that I can compensate you guys for your time. Maybe I can use the grant to buy a lot of nuts. So, I am wondering if you would be interested in me studying under the two of you and writing about you guys? Of course I would collaborate with you two, and of course you would be part of the process of representing yourselves and I will not write anything you do not approve of. If you guys are interested, I can send you my resume, transcript, and some of my writings so you two can see how I think. I also want to reassure you, (since this has been a concern for other mediums that I have asked to do research under) that when I’m studying under you I will not be testing whether this is legitimate or fraudulent, but rather simply I am attempting to understand you two more through your guys eyes. I don’t know if you’re interested in having an ethnographer by the name of Mooshie Squiggle to be working under you guys, but in the odd case that this is of interest, let me know please. If you have any questions, or want to know more about me, feel free to reach out to me via email. Thank you so much, looking forward to a response!! >:-)
    -Mooshie Squiggle

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Mooshie Squiggle~
      What you suggest would not be feasible for us at this time. But I’m glad you wrote because we have a very valuable suggestion for you.
      Never ever for the rest of you life say ‘you guys’ again. Seriously. Do not write it, do not speak it, do not think it.
      Using ‘you guys’ detracts immeasurably from your message and your credibility. Following this suggestion will improve your life in ways you cannot imagine. You’re welcome. Blessings, Pearl

      Reply
  13. Avatar

    Dear Pearl,

    I do not know if you still respond to these, but my friend wishes to know something.
    ‘What is the meaning of life?’ they ask.

    I myself have no questions, but my birthday is in 10 days, may I get a happy birthday?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Happy Birthday, Annu!
      There is currently a book underway called ‘Pearls of Wisdom’ in which I, Pearl de Wisdom, explain succinctly the meaning of life. I could tell you here but it would irk the publisher and possibly cut down on book sales. Book should be coming out in December. All will be revealed.

      Reply
  14. Avatar

    Dear Pearl,
    I would love to photograph you in a photo-journalism-fashion. If that is ever of interest, I am semi-local and enchanted by you. I found your advice to “drop the rock” to another writer especially helpful today. Thank you for all you do oh wise one
    xo Holly Jo

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Holly Jo, Glad you found the advice helpful.Taking pictures of ME could prove disappointing. As often as not I don’t show up in the finished product. It’s a phenomenon currently under investigation. But I will keep this magnanimous offer in mind. Your Pal, Pearl

      Reply
  15. Avatar

    Hi Pearl,

    I was wondering if cats and opossums get along. I think that perhaps one day, if I come across an orphaned opossum in need, that I might care for it for a short time until someone more qualified can arrive. However, my only concern is whether my cat and the orphaned opossum will get along or not. Any pearls (hehe) of wisdom?

    Thank you,

    Patrick

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Hi Patrick~
      In general yes but in the scenario you describe I wouldn’t chance it. Not with a joey, or baby. Also, don’t wait for a more qualified person to ‘arrive’. An ill, injured or orphaned opossum needs quality care from the get-go. Thank you for caring but a good rule of thumb is “If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t do it.” Your Pal, Pearl

      Reply
  16. Avatar

    Hi Pearl.

    I am deathly afraid of snails. If I catch sight of them it is enough to induce a panic attack, just typing this out is making my palms sweaty. Doe you have any advice to overcome this crippling fear O Great One?

    xx
    Long Ear

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Just think how afraid they must be of you, and for better reason. They get scraped off the sidewalks and rooted from their homes and thrown into boiling water, or whatever one does to make escargot. Have sympathy and pity for them. Be very grateful you are not a snail. That should help. Pearl loves you.

      Reply
  17. Avatar

    Hi Pearl,

    What do you think – will I ever move to Hawaii and open up a restaurant on the beach?

    Lots of love,
    Giacomo

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Dear Giacomo~
      Either that or you’ll move to Domar Tibet and open an oxygen bar. Ask yourself; Do I want the road to Paradise or the road less traveled?
      P.

      Reply
  18. Avatar

    Hi, Pearl! How are you feeling today?

    Reply
    • MEpearl

      Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Thanks for asking.

      Reply

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