ASK PEARL

Posted By: Admin on April 6, 2010 in - Comments: 853 Comments »

 

Let ME Explain!

 

THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl of Wisdom!

* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl of Wisdom is sooo funny!)

Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.

Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.

Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.

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853 Blessed Comments

  1. Avatar Your true love says:

    Dear Pearl,
    what do you think about de’pression? I have been struggling for a few years. nothing seems to help. medication is failing me. I want to be a possum because they have short lives. please help.
    sincerely,
    sadboi in seattle

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      I feel ya, bro. Psychic anchors on every limb and a brain filled with porridge and quills. Pearl knows. Pearl cares. Let the fact that you are not a possum be an elfin light on your dreary mindscape. You say medication is failing you, not that it has failed you. Keep trying. Don’t give up before the miracle. Sending you tons of happy woo woo. Pearl loves you. (Fat lotta good that does, right?)

  2. Avatar Dalloway says:

    Dear Pearl,
    How are you? What do you expect for the next year? Do you have any plans for christmas?
    I hope you have a good time. Your videos bring love and hapiness to my life. Thank you! See you, xx.

  3. Avatar Havana says:

    hi pearl,
    i think youre really awesome, and i want to know, what do you think happens when we die? since you are a dead squirrel, and all knowing, i figured you may have some insight to this question!
    thank you, blessed be and i love u

  4. Avatar sad sam says:

    hi pearl I recently lost a dear freind/brother/soulmate/rat/loaf and since you are all knowing I was wondering how I can get over this great loss thank you pearl
    ps. is this a religion if so I would like to join

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      You will never get over this great loss. Nor should you. You are forever changed. That’s love for ya. This IS a religion and you’re in, Sam. Welcome.
      Pearl loves you.

  5. Greetings,
    You are wonderful. Please contact, we wish to have you on our Friday night program! Will you bring the joy of Pearl to FreeSpeechTV? Can the Pearls of Wisdom manifest amongst the punk-right of the internet? We need you. We are not worthy.

  6. Avatar Linda says:

    Pearl, I think I’ve met my soulmate, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. What are some creative ways to express love?

  7. Avatar Lauren says:

    O graceful leader Pearl, my boyfriend has a really bad haircut and doesn’t know how to get himself fixed. Can you recommend a good haircut for men so I can look at him again? Thank you.

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Dear Lauren, There are certain things Pearl just can’t work up any interest in. This is one of them. Good luck. Pearl loves you.

  8. Avatar shea says:

    hello pearl! i hope you are having a fine day. i need advice on thriving. how do you thrive? im sorta in a rut. thanks!

  9. Avatar jeff says:

    this kid keeps breathing on me and is giving me germs! my mother will get sick if he doesnt stop! Pearl please kill him!

  10. Avatar the alleys says:

    Hi Pearl. I hope you, Georgette, and the opossums and other squirrels are doing alright. Out of curiosity, are you bookable for events? My best friends and I adore your channel and we have some birthdays coming up and would love to meet you! 🙂
    peace and blessings,
    the alleys

  11. Avatar JadeDuck says:

    Hello Pearl,

    My family is looking to get another dog (both of ours passed last year, and we feel that it’s finally time for another one). However, we’ve moved into a more rural area and my father wants an outside dog who won’t scare off the opossums we have around the house. He likes to watch them run around the yard at night. Do you have any dog breed suggestions?

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