ASK PEARL

Posted By: Admin on April 6, 2010 in - Comments: 873 Comments »

 

Let ME Explain!

 

THIS is where you have the opportunity to find the *truth from ME, Pearl of Wisdom!

* or a facsimile thereof (because, Mesdames et Messieurs, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. ha hahaha hee hee ..hic hic hic, Pearl of Wisdom is sooo funny!)

Pearl of Wisdom absolves herself of any and all responsibility for whatever may go terribly terribly wrong as a result of taking her advice.

Please note that your personal privacy is of no interest to Pearl.

Thank you for writing in and have a nice day.

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873 Blessed Comments

  1. Avatar Your true love says:

    Dear Pearl,
    what do you think about de’pression? I have been struggling for a few years. nothing seems to help. medication is failing me. I want to be a possum because they have short lives. please help.
    sincerely,
    sadboi in seattle

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      I feel ya, bro. Psychic anchors on every limb and a brain filled with porridge and quills. Pearl knows. Pearl cares. Let the fact that you are not a possum be an elfin light on your dreary mindscape. You say medication is failing you, not that it has failed you. Keep trying. Don’t give up before the miracle. Sending you tons of happy woo woo. Pearl loves you. (Fat lotta good that does, right?)

  2. Avatar Dalloway says:

    Dear Pearl,
    How are you? What do you expect for the next year? Do you have any plans for christmas?
    I hope you have a good time. Your videos bring love and hapiness to my life. Thank you! See you, xx.

  3. Avatar Havana says:

    hi pearl,
    i think youre really awesome, and i want to know, what do you think happens when we die? since you are a dead squirrel, and all knowing, i figured you may have some insight to this question!
    thank you, blessed be and i love u

  4. Avatar sad sam says:

    hi pearl I recently lost a dear freind/brother/soulmate/rat/loaf and since you are all knowing I was wondering how I can get over this great loss thank you pearl
    ps. is this a religion if so I would like to join

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      You will never get over this great loss. Nor should you. You are forever changed. That’s love for ya. This IS a religion and you’re in, Sam. Welcome.
      Pearl loves you.

  5. Greetings,
    You are wonderful. Please contact, we wish to have you on our Friday night program! Will you bring the joy of Pearl to FreeSpeechTV? Can the Pearls of Wisdom manifest amongst the punk-right of the internet? We need you. We are not worthy.

  6. Avatar Linda says:

    Pearl, I think I’ve met my soulmate, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. What are some creative ways to express love?

  7. Avatar Lauren says:

    O graceful leader Pearl, my boyfriend has a really bad haircut and doesn’t know how to get himself fixed. Can you recommend a good haircut for men so I can look at him again? Thank you.

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Dear Lauren, There are certain things Pearl just can’t work up any interest in. This is one of them. Good luck. Pearl loves you.

  8. Avatar shea says:

    hello pearl! i hope you are having a fine day. i need advice on thriving. how do you thrive? im sorta in a rut. thanks!

  9. Avatar jeff says:

    this kid keeps breathing on me and is giving me germs! my mother will get sick if he doesnt stop! Pearl please kill him!

  10. Avatar the alleys says:

    Hi Pearl. I hope you, Georgette, and the opossums and other squirrels are doing alright. Out of curiosity, are you bookable for events? My best friends and I adore your channel and we have some birthdays coming up and would love to meet you! 🙂
    peace and blessings,
    the alleys

  11. Avatar JadeDuck says:

    Hello Pearl,

    My family is looking to get another dog (both of ours passed last year, and we feel that it’s finally time for another one). However, we’ve moved into a more rural area and my father wants an outside dog who won’t scare off the opossums we have around the house. He likes to watch them run around the yard at night. Do you have any dog breed suggestions?

  12. Avatar Klara says:

    Dearest Pearl,
    I have just started college and seek advice on how to make friends. I am not shy, so approaching others is not the problem, but I am admittedly a bit strange, a bit of an oddball, if you will – in the best way, though (hopefully). How do I form meaningful connections without scaring people off with my sense of humour or having to pretend to be normal?
    In earnest and with love,
    a friendless friend-seeker

  13. Avatar Callie says:

    Hey Pearl, how do you feel about the phrase, “Ok Boomer”? Best regards.

  14. Avatar sweet pea says:

    Greetings and salutations, Pearl. I was wondering, since you are a dead squirrel- can you talk to other dead animals? Other dead humans? Or is your communication only with your human representative. Thank you.

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Dead, Living, and Not Yet Born. Sure I CAN talk to them but do I WANT to? Dead creatures tend to procrastinate and that makes them dull.
      Why do you ask, Sweet Pea? P

  15. Avatar Sierra says:

    Hello Pearl,
    Do you have any insight about how to be as great and perfect as you?

  16. Avatar Chonky Catto says:

    Dear Pearl,

    I have had a very difficult, traumatic life and just want to transform myself into something good that can change the world like you. How does one become a force for good when life is so hard Pearl?

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Dear Chonky Catto~ Your salvation is in your question. Your realization that a difficult traumatic life can propel you into being a force for good is the major obstacle overcome. BRAVA! Now, look to what you have learned that makes life easier and share that. Share your gems of experience. And always look for the funny. That’s the teaspoon of sugar that makes the medicine go down. Pearl loves you.

  17. Avatar Zachary says:

    Dear Pearl,
    My coworkers say that I’m wildly obsessed with opossums and that I should seek professional help. They’re often annoyed by me changing the backgrounds on the work computers to photos of them. How can I convince them that opossums are the cute and amazing creatures they are?
    Regards,
    “The weird opossum guy”

  18. Avatar Joseph says:

    Pearl,
    As a young man, I found a small, injured possum. I rescued it and nursed it back to health. In an effort to tear down the wall of enmity betwixt man and animal, I named it “Francis”. I chose that name because it was the only name that I knew of, as a seven year old, that worked regardless of the sex of the name. It regained its health and I returned it to the wild, never knowing if it was a boy or girl. Would you be a dear and ask around up there, I’m sure there aren’t many possums named Francis in the great beyond, and let me know if it was a boy or girl? Did it ever marry? Have a family? Eat dog food from a dog’s bowl while the dog slept?

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Francis grew into a lovely lady opossum. Friends and family(that would be you) refer to her as Fran. She and innumerable descendants will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. What a joyous reunion that will be.
      Yours, Pearl

  19. Avatar Anxious in Arizona says:

    Hello Pearl!

    I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and have been on medication for nearly 5 years. Every once and a while (because I’m super forgetful) I’ll forget to take my meds, and often the day after next is awful. Do you have any tips for getting through bad days when everything feels cold and empty?

    Much love from Arizona!

    Ps: I hope that you, Georgette, and the other furry friends are doing well. Have a happy holiday season and happy new year!

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Dear Anxious in Arizona,
      Pearl knows. Georgette has experienced what you describe. In Arizona, no less. Scottsdale and…wait for it….Sedona, one of the seven spiritual centers of the world. Still it felt like slogging through slow moving quicksand. Work through your resistance to the medication (you are not “super-forgetful”). Never underestimate the chemical component. Then find something that you consider more important than yourself and start supporting that, commit to that. Shift the focus away from yourself. Sometimes it’s necessary to do this while consuming a compensatory amount of spaghetti and cake. Pearl is with you 140 %.

  20. Avatar Jartmouth says:

    What are your thoughts on vaping? Love you squirrel friend

  21. Avatar Dion says:

    Hey Pearl, what are some of the best snacks for squirrels and opossums? Especially opossums. They come around my house every so often and I love the heck out of those cute little marsupials and want to sho them some love

    • MEpearl MEpearl says:

      Dear Dion, Grapes, shelled walnuts, almonds, apple, blueberries, strawberries, pumpkin, endive, persimmon, lightly steamed broccoli, carrots, …this works for both and the variety is healthier. Squirrels will prefer only nuts but don’t give in. Possums have a sweet tooth and will eat most anything but don’t give in. Think produce. Avocados are a big hit…in moderation. Good question!
      Your Pal Pearl

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