Guess what -you can GIVE ME MONEY!
Why should we give you money?
I don’t understand.
Because I want it.
And I’m Pearl.
Thank you for writing in and I await your donation.
Pearl of Prosperity
I just deposited One Million Dollars into you Bank account, and I didn’t even get a thankyou
One guy asked, ”why should we give you money” and your response was ”because I want it” ”and i’m pearl”. That has got to be the most funiest thing I heard in years!!… Good reason why.
I love you and your pink person. Or is that the drugs talking? Never mind, I’m still going to give you money. Have your butler check the mailbox…
And we love you, Mel~
Although it is entirely against my principles, I am pondering sending you a walnut from my vast store. Would you like the remains of a walnut personally gutted by ME, Pearl? It’s a collector’s item with great sentimental value, as are all my empty nut shells. You are one lucky gal, Mel. You can have either the etheric version or you can send ME your address. Either way, you’ll want to get your nut insured tout suite!
Dearest Pearlie Squirl, my grandmama taught me how to make a turtle out of a gutted walnut shell. The head and tail are suspended on wires, so that they move. It’s funny how each one had its own personality. I miss my grannie, gone 30 years, but I look more and more like her. She was born in 1884.
What memories you stir, dear Mel~
My Gramma taught me how to gut the walnut shells. We never thought of turtles. Hmmm.
My grandmama was born in 1987. And I, too, look just like her..
We have much in common, my friend.
Here’s to grandmothers! May we always outlive them, unlike my brother.
Pearl de Pining for the Ancestors
Dear ME Pearl,
Are you offering any endorsements for president? Or are you, through Georgette, running as a third party candidate?
As you can well imagine, you are not the first to suggest I run for president of the US., not by a long shot. As you know, I ‘live’ to serve. And Pearl is nothing if not patriotic. It’s a squirrel thing. And so I took this to prayer and found my answer.
Georgette is simply not slick enough. If the candidate’s corporeal representation cannot go by the nick name of ‘Slick’, that flag is not gonna fly.
However…I am always on the lookout for a new channeller. Apply within.
Pearl for President, yes, it is poster worthy.
As we enter the best season for making soup, I am looking for new recipes. Any good suggestions?
God bless, and I still might write you in for president.
Do write ME in for president. Capitol idea!
Your vote will assure the landslide victory I anticipate.
I’m particularly partial to acorn bisque, thank you for asking. The campaign trail has been peanut patty after peanut patty and I’m eager to get home to the neighbor’s bird feeders.
Please be encouraged to whip up a vat of seasonal bisque and overnight it to:
Pearl de Wisdom
c/o International House of Nuts
Oh, and see if you can drum up some campaign contributions. Remember, a vote for Pearl is a vote for ME!
Have you ever noticed that an opossums tail looks similar to an albino snake?
Not until you mentioned it, Winston.
Thank you for such a keen observation.
Have you ever noticed that possum ears feel like the finest Chinese rice paper?
Unfortunate they are quite gaseous and smell like, never mind.
Pearl, your fellow Witness to the World.
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